November 1, 2012
On Friday we played Lakefish again in the Division 1 Finals. We tied in the number of matches won, so the counted the number of doubles games won to see who won. We lost by six games. It really stunk. I felt crushed you know? You work so hard all season and you lose by six games. We were so close. We played CIF Individuals today and I lost in the first round. I could have beat the girl if I had not missed so many volleys. I mean I set up the point perfectly and then I just could not finish. The LF coach wants to coach me, but I do not want to be coached by him. Speaking of which, I really need a new MP3, but my parents refuse to let me get one unless I play tennis and practice with a coach.
I have not been on Facebook in a while. I am just trying to ignore the fact that I even have the account. I have not seen Jax in real life in a long time.
We watched a movie called Shattered Glass in Journalism on Wednesday. It was about a man named Stephen Glass who fabricated many stories and published them as news. It was a really good movie, so I decided to read the book. IT’s also pretty good. We turned in our Bio boards on Tuesday. Mine was totally pathetic.
November 5, 2012
I saw Jax this weekend. He is taller than me now...way taller. He has got to be at least 6ft. He won his match pretty easily.
I did not get into CIF Individuals, which really sucks, and rocks at the same time. It sucks because I wanted to get in and help the school really bad. We have not won CIFs in a long time. IT rocks, because I don’t have to play tennis today. Weird how that works right?
Every day seems to be the same for me: school is my heaven, home is my hell. There is always some inane argument going on; someone yelling at someone else. Always so loud. My dad always gets his way by threatening people with a bamboo stick. My brother is lying more and more each day. My mom is almost a carbon copy of my dad. She used to be so quiet. You barely ever heard her raise her voice unless she was really angry. Now, she screams everything. Another thing is that she makes any and every excuse not to go to church. She always has to wash her hair or comb it or go shopping or something. I mean don’t get me wrong, as a family, we don’t attend church every Sunday, but the few times we do go, she won’t come. This bothers me. I don’t know why though seeing as I question His existence most of the time. But I know subconciously he must be there...or maybe that’s just what has been drilled into me. What if there is no God Luke? What if he really doesn’t exist and we use Him as an excuse as to how we got here in the first place. Maybe that’s why my mom just doesn’t go. My brother; I’m worried about him, I mean I hate him, but I would never want him or anyone else to end up on the FBI’s Most Wanted list, or worse in jail. He doesn’t want to change, and I can’t make him, so I don’t know why I bother. My dad and my brother; they don’t love me. I feel like it is never about what I want to do; it’s about what everyone else wants me to do.
November 14, 2012
I saw Jax last weekend. He is playing really well. I think he has a really good chance of making it to the pro circut. You were very nice to me today. You told me what I missed, and you ate with me during lunch. A lot of people asked if I was dating you today. I told them no. Said we are just friends; said I’d like to keep it that way. Maybe I am too stuck on Jax to see you as such right now.