Sand Deep - (25%)

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Before A.D. - Three

There’s nothing much to say about home. My father moved with his brothers and sisters from Africa after the British-Indian Raj to England, due to grandfather who had happened to have rowed a boat from Africa and passed British customs to settle in Leicester as I was told by my father.

My grandparents’ offspring consisted of four sons and three daughters, one married and settling in London, another settling in Leicester and the other past before my birth. My father’s three younger brothers’ marrying and settling around Leicestershire, all cousins being a few generations younger, except for the oldest daughter’s who had two boys, a year older and a year younger than I in London.

My mother was a dramatic woman, through all my witnesses I saw in her worship for Bhagavan and through marriage she had never settled into a western world. After marriage she entered this home as the first wife, served her in-laws and began work in textiles for a local factory in Leicester. As early as I can remember our house was filled with my parents, my father’s parents, their sons and daughters minus one and my father’s uncle. Everyone either worked or went to a university. I remained at home with my grandparents whilst my mother worked. I cannot remember my mother ever speaking highly towards her in-laws, the context of negative expression, and excessive home labour was emphasized into my infant years and then after we had moved into our own home.

She worked and my father worked until they made enough money with my kakas (dad’s brothers), that they opened several newsagents across Leicestershire. These businesses were managed into my junior years when they were sold and my father with his brothers entered a new market in garment manufacturing. A fashion industry had swept across England and Europe and my families were lucky enough to accumulate some investment for a factory to produce clothing.

My life was distant from my father, through infancy, juniors, to adolescents, into high-school, changing high-schools, through college and into university with an affair, where fate furthered the distance between my father and I.

I was not allowed to ask my father questions or suggest things. This resulted into fear of asking him anything. From youth asking him a question would result into a lie or superficial anger, and his natural tendency to save himself from embarrassment would lead to exasperation towards me for not knowing the answer. My father would physically take me to the police station to scare me as a child if hitting me wasn’t enough. My dad had to decide what to scare me with the most, a fist or a leather belt and buckle. I feared him instead of fearing the Lord. The net caring for the boy that cried wolf made me lose my ability to be strong and incisive.

Just like King David from the Holy Bible, the repercussions that my father left from the beginning of my university life would have been well-imagined by a most poorly paid psychologist, however at that time I had no meaning of King David or shrinks.

About a party of breaking brotherhood the time had come when all brothers’ had moved and one brother and sister from the village missed out. The brothers had felt awful on believing what I’d believe as they settled in the U.S, after the king had lied guilty on his deathbed to stop village sister.

As for youth I grew up fearing my father and trying not to upset my mother. Once the affairs were revealed in my first year of dental school at halls on a night where my mum found it of importance to drive hundred miles and share this sad news with me. I remember my dad standing at the doorway of my dorm room whilst my ten year old sister sat and listened to my mum exaggerating her truth to me. Through all her negative thoughts to every person (and soon to be me too) she mentioned that my dad’s brothers choked her. My dad’s brothers had come to my home to calm my mum and dad and comfort my sister, but my mum immediately thought the worse and thought they were taking her away. My dad at the time had abused himself physically out of guilt or that my mother wouldn’t stop her tongue to listen to reason. That day I lost my trust. I didn’t even know what trust was at that time. Whereas for becoming better I turned worse as now I was free of my dad’s fear. Here was when I became lost. There’s no God. What is God?

That’s all in the past. This was a mistake made by my parents it was not mine to have burden upon. But nevertheless their mistakes and no praises left me lost. My father was a man that when I spoke of intellect I was acting too smart. As simple as speaking English to him when I was young was considered a mistake.

“Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.”

[Ephesians 6:4]

Times were to change more in a matter of three years. Instead of learning to enjoy my university life I was consumed to travel to Leicester weekly. As in three years my family and extended family would leave to move across seas to United States. My family and extended family live as close as South Carolina and North Carolina now. Both my grandparents on my mother’s side have passed away and so has my father’s father. My father’s uncle is still alive at the age of eighty-something with my widowed grandmother. My father’s brothers live in North Carolina, U.S.A. and building schools and development in India, where the oldest sister still lives in London, making the youngest sister married with three wonderful children who all live in Leicestershire, the home of the Walkers and Lineker’s.

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