Before A.D. - Five
This is the speed to write, the feeling of not knowing when you are writing or the feeling of what you are thinking. This was the feeling for three of my friends Romeo, Vassell and Mike. We all were forced to love to drink; with no reason to actually have a reason to drink we still drank.
Mike drank as his family had no objection towards this, Vassell drank because his rebellions against his father and Romeo drank because his father did and so did the rest of his population of students surrounding him. I began to drink because they did. With Romeo and Tamal I drank cautiously and at the beginning there was no difference to physiological or mental change as there is now.
I hadn’t drank for a year before writing this and today I have come home from five shots of liquor, and five bottles of beer and clearly I see what the difference is. I can see past the normality of being sober, that staring at the television whilst typing this very sentence, with no spelling mistakes, no mistakes, all confidence and the only ability to concentrate is for my sister who stares at E.R. on WYFF thinking what the inconsistency was in me now.
Whilst I was drinking occasionally a few years back I did not feel any different. I met with my friends, one, both or all three when I was supposed to meet my family or my girlfriend Lara, but instead I spent the time with them to drink and be a lad.
Romeo was the first choice, he was the oldest and I had spent most my time with him. I would come to Leicester to meet “everyone” but we would end up going out to drink instead. Drinking built confidence and this built strength and there is nothing wrong with strength, which is why I loved Romeo and Tamal. The other two brothers loved drinking on their own accord and being whatever that was I was no one to care.
I admired Romeo as he was a lonesome individual who had survived longer than I had, and he had survived university to accomplish the fact with meeting with me. He was caring, and sensitive and my mother loved him. Probably as he was the same height as her or that he pretended to speak the same language. Either way he built his shallow realization of strength from alcohol. At our age and from the way of his history who was to know that the way we lived was through fertilizer embedded in yeast? And neither of us to know that this way of living was pointless.
Vassell was different; he drank to tolerate the culture derived from home. Whatever they said was not out of love and the only way to tolerate was to find out on our own. We drank when we could and we drank in excess. There was no reason to be shy as when we had a chance to find out where we should stand there was all the time in the world.
In our youth Vassell was isolated in Leicester as for when his father was around, and for the fact that in Leicester he was not allowed to leave home freely. He remained in isolation from communication outside of school hours and he remained isolated from communication over the phone. Vassell drank, smoked and sniffed leisurely when becoming distant from his father. I was surprised when meeting him in Bradford after he had intentionally failed his exams to oppose his father’s orders to follow in medicine.
When I met him in Bradford I was already on the path to hell and nothing was going to shock me into a cardiac attack, not even the amount of cannabis he smoked in a joint being nothing less than a field of six feet plants dozen at a time. This was shy of whatever he had to offer, I didn’t care, all I felt was Vassell looks up to me, and I have no one to look up to besides the ones I was with.
When he drank as much as a whale alone in the oceans I should have thought for him, instead I joined him and drank for myself. Nothing was to change between us; we were to love each other as we shared more than a homeless man does with his own life than our fathers’ did with us. I never told him to slow down on alcohol and when drugs came into play I was in no position to let him know otherwise.
Vassell had a brother; Nicodemus was what we called him. He was a few years younger than us and with me he spent plenty of time with in London. He traveled with me when he needed to and so did his friends. I give plenty of respect to Nicodemus who became a doctor from graduating at Guy’s Hospital. I respected Nicodemus as I respected his brother, nothing more and nothing less. I never got to know him as a person.
Smiles and giggles to pass the time away from advice as a professional or was I the professional that he was admiring? Nothing was said due to respect for Vassell and he graduated from two years behind my schedule to graduate, he beats me to the finish line. He was a considerate individual to his own ability; I admired Nicodemus for his interest in learning, his passion to keep following the right path, his concern for his friends and their involvement around university and home. He learnt from his surroundings and his brothers’ misfortunes, he never smoked.
Vassell and Nicodemus were extremely smart and full of wisdom. They knew of sports, science, social societies, economics, business and music. Their interest in music stretched to reading notes, understanding melodies, playing instruments and teaching me a little on the way. My love for the varieties of rock music came much later in my life. Vassell was fortunate enough to start listening to play consonant and dissonant with rhythm from different timbres at an early age. Thus I thank the Lord for him and his brother and ask Him to keep them close to His heartbeat. Amen.
The final brother to have any effect on my life through home and away at university was Mike. Mike was the only child in his family and highly educated with the white society in Leicestershire. His mother loved him obviously and his father loved him dearly too, his family may have loved me dearly as well.
The surprising thing between Mike and I was that his parents had the same name as mine. The first night I spent at Mike’s was delivered with post the next morning, this mail was addressed to the same name as my father’s, I asked him what his mother’s name was and to our surprise they were pretty much the same. And from then we were best of friends.
The Lord should have been respected at this time instead coincidence was played, and autumns changed into summers, which rolled into springs, which revolved into winters. And the appreciation between Mike and I remained with the similarity of the necessity to drink and take drugs than the actuality that we were met through God’s Word.
My faith in God, Allah, the Lord, Vishnu or Father was compromised through Mike. Mike was more atheistic than hopeful and this worked outstandingly for him. Mike knew of only one and that one was his mother. With her knowledge and wisdom he did well, well enough to make a successful career in London. He did exceptionally well considering he managed to do this alongside alcohol and pot. I admire Mike more than I miss him as he did this unwillingly of any faith with no superstitious spirits or love from Christ.
He learnt well from his surroundings but he never advised his surroundings of his teachings. Sometimes I wonder if his confidence came from my faith in God as well as the fact that he wanted to make his mother happy. Either way I am overwhelmed with his success alongside his path that the Lord placed before him, filled with alcohol and narcotics that somehow had no effect on his mental synapses to communicate with his family and friends.
My friendship with Mike was stronger than that of Vassell and Romeo despite that I had known him for less time. I greatly related to Mike as he drank and he lived close with his own car at seventeen, and for the freedom that his family gave him over to that of Vassell’s family. Romeo was greatly over the age of Vassell and Mike however lacked all the confidence that they did to speak, and Mike related to this as equal as I. And this helped me relate to Mike closer than that to Romeo.
I relied on Mike to provide reassurance, and Romeo to provide comfort with Vassell to provide strength. I provided nothing to my brothers besides their necessity in me and my reassurance that came from the Lord, willingly or not my existence or what they desired from me was in the control del Espiratu Santo or alcohol and drugs.
What they thought of me was never on my mind. With drugs and alcohol running through my bloodstream and without any personal common-sense in the twenty-first century, I asked fewer questions and comprehended with silence when conversations turned from two, to three, to four or five. I stopped listening, especially when football was spoken about. I began to watch football in my early twenties extremely late compared to all my peers. Finally I began to accept that they know more, more in everything. And what was best was if I stopped thinking for my own personal world and coincided with the world I was around. The loss of consciousness I had felt from the beginning of university I felt regret everyday that that was my time to shine and from my life at college there was nothing to stop me.
Vassell knew I was known across Leicestershire probably due to the reason of speech, and height and the only one having a true effect for folk gossip. Mostly Vassell admired that I was carefree to be affected by what people thought. I never intentionally caused trouble in the interest of crime. However some of my actions led me into the night with a smoke in one hand and more on the table asking questions and repenting without ever waking up the next morning. The guys I knew were definitely much smarter than I and with our time together I was not to know that.
“that everyone who believes in him may have eternal life.” For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.” [John 3:15-17]
Whereas for Romeo and Tamal, (Romeo being slightly younger than Tamal), they lived in a rough neighbourhood that deceitfulness gave them knowledge and understanding, like a million others this was for personal gain rather than to be humane.
The times with Romeo were great in some sense as I had a compadra that drank. He spoke when he did, however I wasn’t much of a person to listen. Maybe if he said something after a “final fight” in terms of anger on my behaviour I may have realized that as a reason to respect Romeo. I enjoyed his company whilst we were on the same page of Scripture written in Sanskrit until I spoke about Jesus nine years into our friendship and he used blasphemy instead of interest to reprehend. Things began to get clearer however now there was only time to repent rather than to forget.
Mike and I spent most nights in bars and clubs when we were in Leicester, or in London or in Kent where he had studied. I had good communication skills when we were together or around the other two, however when we were with anyone else a contest brew for Mike and instead of competing I held back. Let him have his glory I have no satisfaction on out witting Mike through his friends. I know he would become frustrated with that, however he may not have. Mike derived talent to speak to strangers at the beginning of his university life where as I paid all attention to Lara and opposing my father.
Mike, Vassell, Romeo and I mostly spent our times together or without one another in Riley’s; an American styled pool hall. The mercy of the building held a more authentic type of contest in snooker matches that we mostly checked. Here was mostly a reasonable place to smoke or make a smoke, or drink and/or sometimes as we would say, ‘kill time.’ Either way I learnt nothing whilst we spent time there. The world turned and I achieved nothing more than a break of eight.
With our last days together I insisted there be no pool hall, with Vassell having plenty of abdominal cramps due to his Crohn’s he should have just asked to sit in the car in the middle of nothing and smoke. There was no effect to this man and marijuana for him marijuana helped the pain and passage of stools. When the world began to grow both internally amongst friendship and externally through crime I became stupid and lazy, if there’s a difference? And if there were then the worse from the two would most probably be lazy. Christ can most probably teach a stupid person so to sum us up; we were stupid and I was lazy.