Christmas Stockings

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Twelve Days of Christmas

12 days of Christmas according to your local big city cop.

On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me, a call girl in a pear tree (what is she doing up there anyway?)

On the second day of Christmas my true love gave to me, two sets of hand cuffs(kinky) and a call girl in a pear tree. (Still stuck is she)

On the third day of Christmas my true love gave to me, three taser shots (I remember the academy) two sets of hand cuffs and a call girl in a pear tree.

On the fourth day of Christmas my true love gave to me, four flat tires (that cruiser hates me) three taser shots, two sets of hand cuffs and a call girl in a pear tree.

On the fifth day of Christmas my true love gave to me, five dead laptops (situation normal all f****ed up) four flat tires, three taser shots, two sets of handcuffs, and a call girl in a pear tree. (Better question, how did she get up there in those high heels.)

On the sixth day of Christmas my true love gave to me, six angry sergeants (neat freaks it was only a moldy donut.) five dead laptops, four flat tires, three taser hits, two hand cuffs and the dam call girl in the pear tree.

On the seventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me, seven pissed of judges (man they just don’t get it) six angry sergeants, five dead laptops, four flat tires, three taser shots, two sets of handcuffs, and a call girl in a pear tree.

On the eighth day of Christmas my true love gave to me, eight drunk domestics (can we have one sober holiday please) seven pissed of judges, six angry sergeants, five dead laptops, four flat tires, three taser hits (I can still feel them), two sets of handcuffs and that call girl is still in the pear tree.

On the ninth day of Christmas my true love gave to me, nine howling canines (no one brought treats) eight drunk domestics, seven pissed off judges, six angry sergeants, five dead laptops, four flat tires (I guess I’m stuck changing those) three taser shots, two handcuffs, and the call girl in the pear tree.

On the tenth day of Christmas my true love gave to me, ten active shooters (the mall is not just a place to shop), nine howling canines, eight drunk domestics, seven pissed off judges, six angry sergeants, five dead laptops (the sixth on finally worked), four flat tires, three taser shots, two sets of handcuffs, and the call girl is screaming in the pear tree.

On the eleventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me, eleven jammed up handguns (what happened to our gunsmith?), ten active shooters, nine howling canines, eight drunk domestics, seven pissed off judges, six angry sergeants, five dead laptops, four flat tires (not any more, I got the cadets to change them) three taser shots, two sets of handcuffs, and the call girl up the pear tree.

On the twelfth day of Christmas my true love gave to me, twelve hours of paperwork (not bad all considered) eleven jammed up handguns, ten active shooters, nine quiet canines (they like donuts) eight drunk domestics, seven happy judges (Miranda rights are amazing) six grumpy sergeants (fed their donuts to the canines) five dead laptops(they will make good target practice), four good tires, three taser shots(glad I never have to do that again), two sets of handcuffs and the call girl climbed out of the pear tree(my girlfriend was role playing)

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