Thursday June 3, 2021
Mom said she found us a place to go, it’s apparently in the country in some trailer. She said the man she knows wants to help us out as much as he can but how can she expect me to move thirty minutes away with my job being here and knowing I cannot drive whatsoever? She said she would have me stay here with someone and she’d live in the country with my sisters and son. How does she expect me to leave my child and not see him? Only options I have are to keep my job and be able to car for my son but not see him ever or to quit my job, that I absolutely love, and stay with my mother so I can see my son. I am at a lose, it’s a lose-lose situation. Either way I go my heart will be torn. I don’t know if I’m sounder ungrateful now or if it’s all even rational for me to act this way.
In the middle of mom telling me these options I got up and walked out. She yelled for me to come back and talk to her but all I could do was cry and tell her I couldn’t talk because I couldn’t. I had nothing to say and my throat was being tightened as tears began to form in my eyes. Even now, hours later, tears still seem to escape and roll down my cheek. What do I do? Quit my job and move to the country with my son? Stay here and work but rarely see him? What do I do?
We lost our home and our jobs around the beginning of September of 2020, my son and I went to live with my grandmother as my sister and mother were scattered around the city. My mom in a van, two of my sisters at my aunts and my other sister at her boyfriends. It stayed this way for a few months until my and my grandmother got into a huge argument all because my son knocked her ashtray over and spill ashes onto her rug, my argument was that he is a three year old boy and that I would clean it up but of course that wasn’t enough for her. I ended up leaving that night to stay the weekend at my aunts where my two sisters were staying, that weekend ended with my grandmother putting all of my belongings outside and my son and I permanently staying with my aunt.
While living with my aunt, I acquired a job. I became a dog bather at a local PetSmart. I fell in love with my job and my coworkers immediately, I always wanted to work with animals somehow and it was great to finally do so. My manager even told me if I wished to, that one day I could become a groomer if I decided to do so, which I wanted to. I then got out onto full time and upgraded to stylist apprentice as I did my duties as a bather before being able to go to academy. Might not seem like the most glamorous of jobs, and don’t get me wrong it has it’s stressful days but I love it and love the people I work with. Also during this time my sister, who lives with her grandmother and isn’t biologically my sister, and I decided we would save up to get a place of our own. However, living with my aunt soon came to its end.
My aunt was the type to abuse drugs, which didn’t help with her bipolar disorder whatsoever. One night, after my younger sister babysat my aunts six year old son, our cousin, an argument was held. I was asleep for some of it being that it happened around three in the morning. I called off work the next day and decided to help mend the relationship since we really had no where else to go, but we also moved out of my aunts that same day so there was obviously no mended that could be done. Even now I don’t speak to her and it’s been about three months or so.
Which brings us to the present, we all live with our mother now in this sick woman’s one bedroom apartment. The sick woman has severe diabetes, severe since she never cared for it properly and does drugs all of the time, also running and chasing after her man of the week. My sister and I still haven’t found a place of our own and like I mentioned before my only real option now would be to quit my job and move to the country. I have one more day to think on it, but we’ll see how it goes. I’ll be back soon when there’s any type of update to be given.
- Anonymously lost girl Xoxo