Dodging emotions
During the last few days my brain had been on fire, overwhelmed by my life and old experiences, while I was unable to tame my thoughts, a swirl of darting images and transitions to different locations were leading me to unimaginable places.
How was it possible to see myself inside a very big room with several world leaders, all looking at me with some degree of despair?
I walked slowly left and right in the room and looked at them, one after another, feeling pretty relaxed. Something is very fishy here.
“Cornelius, are you still sleeping?”
“Sweet girl, no I am awake, thanks to you my love, thank you.”
“Oh, baby boy, I am asking because you looked like you are sleeping with your eyes open. You really make me laugh sometimes, what happened to you, you look like you have aged about five years overnight.”
“Ah! my sweet girl, better if I don’t tell you, it’s just another dodgy dream.”
“Ha-ha, I suppose so.”
It is finally Sunday morning and a headache after sleeping a bit longer than usual is testing me. Every time I open my eyes, I look at the clock next to the bed, more than once, to make sure that I am not late for work. Sunday is no different at all, I always feel like I overslept.
This was my wife talking. I love her to bits and yes, she knows me better than anyone. We have been together since 2010, got married last year in the local town hall in a very small, private gathering for a few people. Since then she has been keen to have kids, but I have held her back, for various reasons. Huge topic and I try to avoid bring it up with her.
“Baby boy, I feel horny today and we have no plans whatsoever.”
As if I am going to avoid this Sunday motivation to have kids. I am not sure if everyone feels the same. After you get married, every time you make love, you think that this might be the first or another kid and somehow that puts you off the reason behind making love with your partner.
“Sweet girl, we have lots of plans today, you forgot?”
“Baby boy, I have only one plan.”
“Well, hold your horses baby girl, we said we would get up as early as possible, have a king’s breakfast, then get dressed and go for a walk in the park, to try taking this path further on behind the fence, remember?”
“Ouch, this, I will say is the lamest excuse you have ever given to avoid making love to me.”
“No sweet love, we really said that three days ago. And then we said we would go for a walk to the shops to the one-pound store and buy some of that dish washing liquid, that we keep forgetting and should get after all this time. We also said to sit on the laptop to search for the new pillows, we wanted to buy for the bed.”
“Right, well, next weekend we have no plans, right?”
“Yes, sweet girl, we don’t have any plans.”
“We will spend all day in bed, making love, period.”
“Ok sweet love, deal, next week this bed will need repairs.”
“Hurray, I booked you for good now and I have proof! Look at this and listen to it.”
…after a few dreadful seconds…
“Oh! You didn’t.”
“Yes, I did.”
No, you didn’t, this is extortion.”
“No, it is not, it’s the recording the judge will hear at the court, at our divorce hearing, if we don’t make love next week.”
Gosh, she got me for good this time. She actually recorded me saying we will make love next weekend. I saved this weekend. I will think of something until next weekend. After all I know the pin of her phone!
Phew that was a close one. It looks like I am trying to avoid her, but it is far from it. As opposed to that, I love her dearly and in bed she is stunning. It is just we have various other pressing issues that really make me prioritize other things rather than consuming energy on anything else. You might think I am quite preoccupied and a shortsighted person, but I am not, as much as it sounds.
The considerations to take into account need to begin from way back before the time of conception and the subsequent aftermath. Just take a moment to think. What are we eating, what are our bodies growing on, what do we breathe, what are the environmental stimulations that we are constantly experiencing in most developed countries of the world?
Are all of those storing up in our bodies, sperm and eggs, to host and create, to begin with, a healthy kid?
If I put into the equation, the mental stress that all of us go through daily, then it becomes an impossible puzzle to solve and all of these have something to do with our individual DNA. I know, if everyone were thinking like that, our species would go extinct in a couple of centuries, since no one will want to have kids anymore. That is the other extreme and of course not the solution.
What is the solution though?
Not many people seem to care either way, since hundreds of kids are born every minute on our planet.
So, what happens to those hundreds of babies per minute?
People in developed countries have kids in moderation these days and at a later age, whereas in undeveloped countries they have kids like rabbits do, in 10s. This creates serious questions, but there might be some indirect explanation that keeps bugging my conscious mind. Many will say that in undeveloped countries prevention, education and a system that at least in moderation controls birth is non-existent.
However, have you ever also thought that in an undeveloped country you don’t send your kid into a school to be molded into a state approved homogenous drone that never allows them to think outside of the prescribed consensus?
More importantly, in these undeveloped countries, you do not teach your kids to repeat information instead of how to think for themselves, so that they don’t become a threat to the status quo! In an undeveloped country most likely your kid will not graduate from a university, that then will lead getting a job to pay the taxes and bills, in order to perpetuate the corporate system of indentured servitude for your political overloads. Maybe, all of the above is in the subconscious of many people living in the so-called developed countries and puts on hold bringing a child into such a society for such a life, except the ones that are simply selfish or rich. It could also be our primal instinct for procreation, or simply our desire to have kids in order that we live the patriarchal family experience during our lifetime. Some would also think, having kids growing up so they have someone to take care of them, when they grow old and are unable to do basic things anymore. Is it though?
It’s a thin philosophizing line, and considering all matters I mentioned above, many of the current parents are determined to fight for a better life for their children and this fact in no way makes them selfish. But what if it makes them naïve?
You decide, and for a change make a decision without being politically correct and who knows you might surprise your own self. In the meantime, live the dream as long as it lasts, because the reality is so far away, that no human made telescope can even see it.
