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That which drives the world

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A man ponders on his actions as he falls into his compulsive behavior creating the loop which he dreads.

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My precious ball

What is that which drives you? Why again? Where did I go wrong? These words have lost their meaning as once again they became abused compulsively without a second thought.
Loops are never ending.
I noticed this when I gained a speck of awareness through the sheer amount of loops I have gone through.
I get out of my pitiful state and a moment of brilliance strikes me as I become a dogged man with ambition but who am I to fool myself? The spark blew out as soon as it came and after that the urge came.
In this moment there is nothing in the world just me my room and my urge. I take the ball and hold it my hand. Once again? No I'd rather not. But then why is that I cannot put it down. It became harder to breathe the feelings of misfortune and adrenaline made it tremendously difficult to not bounce the ball.
This pain will go away if I bounce the ball.
This pleasure will pop into existence if I bounce the ball.
My thoughts race and there is no place for a rational decision as I bounce the ball. Nothing matters anymore this moment in time I wish
The ball bounces on the floor and makes its very distinctive sound as this room has the best to offer of any other instrument. The surface texture of the ball can be replicated but there is no such thing as rivaling the genuine article.
I catch the ball and I repeat.
I bounce the ball and I repeat.
Hours pass as I see the reflection of the blinding moonlight on the floor I became distracted for the first time and fail to catch the ball and the aftermath of it hearing that ball bounce more than once made me become discombobulated and afraid bringing life back to me as I pass out.
I awake from my slumber as I remember what I did yesterday and the pain hits. The flame sparks. I must change. But it is extinguished as quickly as it came.

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Further Recommendations

BookWitch: I was happy to read this book as well... There were a few places in this book that the names got mixed up; it just made it a little more interesting to figure out, I was very impressed otherwise. Looking forward to the next book.

rioswedding2015: LOVED IT! This was an amazing story. Thank you so much for sharing! Very talented writer.

chrissyparadis: I really liked the plot of this book. I love MC stories!

Holly: This novel is really good and the storyline was amazing but they are so much mistake's and I really enjoyed reading your novel ♥️♥️

Sofiavergara: Its really relatable and cool

joblync1: I enjoyed the first book and I am really enjoying this one as well. Everything just flows and there is no unnecessary forced suspense it all just happens. I really like that. Overall I plan on reading the whole series

Tina: Loving the story so far

Kerrie Mckeehan: this book just keeps giving and i love the plot of frankie and lucas love story

More Recommendations

Liz : I like this story but I like of them. I wish you could do one of the boys as they return and get back to life with mom and Dom. Them falling in love with a special girl or guy. I think with the way you write it would be amazing.

Christina Kontogianni: A book is good if you are sad when you finished it. And I was sad 🤪

Angela Lafferty: I read black sails first and then came back and read the rest. I just started the first book on Wednesday and now (Friday) I am completely done with the series that you have up for both clubs. It has been sooo good that I have not wanted to put my phone down. I have cried with the characters, lau...

ayoooobroo: This is very real and relatable and I truly love that in the story's also everything a hopeless romantic could want lol good job, keep it up.

maggiev8mv: I enjoyed book 1, book 2 freaking loved it. A tad predictable, but the writing style and storytelling skills made up for it. Thank you for sharing your story!!! Now Book 3!!

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