That which drives the world

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A man ponders on his actions as he falls into his compulsive behavior creating the loop which he dreads.

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My precious ball

What is that which drives you? Why again? Where did I go wrong? These words have lost their meaning as once again they became abused compulsively without a second thought.
Loops are never ending.
I noticed this when I gained a speck of awareness through the sheer amount of loops I have gone through.
I get out of my pitiful state and a moment of brilliance strikes me as I become a dogged man with ambition but who am I to fool myself? The spark blew out as soon as it came and after that the urge came.
In this moment there is nothing in the world just me my room and my urge. I take the ball and hold it my hand. Once again? No I'd rather not. But then why is that I cannot put it down. It became harder to breathe the feelings of misfortune and adrenaline made it tremendously difficult to not bounce the ball.
This pain will go away if I bounce the ball.
This pleasure will pop into existence if I bounce the ball.
My thoughts race and there is no place for a rational decision as I bounce the ball. Nothing matters anymore this moment in time I wish
The ball bounces on the floor and makes its very distinctive sound as this room has the best to offer of any other instrument. The surface texture of the ball can be replicated but there is no such thing as rivaling the genuine article.
I catch the ball and I repeat.
I bounce the ball and I repeat.
Hours pass as I see the reflection of the blinding moonlight on the floor I became distracted for the first time and fail to catch the ball and the aftermath of it hearing that ball bounce more than once made me become discombobulated and afraid bringing life back to me as I pass out.
I awake from my slumber as I remember what I did yesterday and the pain hits. The flame sparks. I must change. But it is extinguished as quickly as it came.

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Further Recommendations

reneeyoung922: The grammar bends to be better monitored, too many lapses on word choice or spelling interrupt the flow of the story.

Elizna Wolmarans: This book was amazing. I loved the way each character was expressed in detail. I would recommend this book to my friends.

Manny: Absolutely loved it. I couldn’t put it down. Great writing and story. Thank you

lesleyknight4: Loved loved loved this book. Such a gentle love story. Can't wait to discover other books the author might have written.

jennasevcik71: It's very good so far I like the beginning in the middle I'm just curious to know what's going to go on next

Stephanie Brown: Insanely intense short story absolutely loved it ❤ 😍 ♥

myriadverad: please update the story.

Eycedream: Such a great story. Love the plot and all the details.Great job.

More Recommendations

Eycedream: Such a great story. Love the plot and all the details. Amazing job.

Dorothy McIntosh: Love it after all I'm reading the third one after this one keep going hun we love your books I'm going to read all of them because you are a good writer hun

Ellida Yngente: I admire the storyline , characters and dialogue all together . The plot is pretty interesting . Overall !your book is well written .

Tina Figueroa: This book is so amazing,a must read pick it up.

Soniasanders1975: I love this book so far

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