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That which drives the world

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A man ponders on his actions as he falls into his compulsive behavior creating the loop which he dreads.

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My precious ball

What is that which drives you? Why again? Where did I go wrong? These words have lost their meaning as once again they became abused compulsively without a second thought.
Loops are never ending.
I noticed this when I gained a speck of awareness through the sheer amount of loops I have gone through.
I get out of my pitiful state and a moment of brilliance strikes me as I become a dogged man with ambition but who am I to fool myself? The spark blew out as soon as it came and after that the urge came.
In this moment there is nothing in the world just me my room and my urge. I take the ball and hold it my hand. Once again? No I'd rather not. But then why is that I cannot put it down. It became harder to breathe the feelings of misfortune and adrenaline made it tremendously difficult to not bounce the ball.
This pain will go away if I bounce the ball.
This pleasure will pop into existence if I bounce the ball.
My thoughts race and there is no place for a rational decision as I bounce the ball. Nothing matters anymore this moment in time I wish
The ball bounces on the floor and makes its very distinctive sound as this room has the best to offer of any other instrument. The surface texture of the ball can be replicated but there is no such thing as rivaling the genuine article.
I catch the ball and I repeat.
I bounce the ball and I repeat.
Hours pass as I see the reflection of the blinding moonlight on the floor I became distracted for the first time and fail to catch the ball and the aftermath of it hearing that ball bounce more than once made me become discombobulated and afraid bringing life back to me as I pass out.
I awake from my slumber as I remember what I did yesterday and the pain hits. The flame sparks. I must change. But it is extinguished as quickly as it came.

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Further Recommendations

Pink_Venom_007: L'histoire est trop cool

Stefanie: Ich bin positiv von dieser Geschichte überrascht. Es handelt von tollen starken Charakteren. Und es zeigt einem, wie stark Freunde gemeinsam sein können.

dtjenkins5: A good read with all the complexities of relationships. The twists and turns of the plot add a special dimension.

FiU: Zum Dahinschmelzen. Tolle Geschichte. Hoffe auf Band 2 über die besten Freunde.Bitte mehr Zeit für die Rechtschreibung aufwenden.

Erika: Yooo where’s the second part?!

nizaly: Muy bonita historia y divertida.gracias

Annie Kay: The dirt bag behavior with Marcus and erica was annoying and this story was amazing. The relationship development wasn't over time but more over rushed at the end and erica should have lost her relationship with Marcus when he started to be kind to his wife. It was a good story.

2jlynn: Cannot imagine all that went on in Annalisa had going on in her life the past 2 years... then to top it off with her dad stepping in taking care of everything her an Eagle would need yet expecting nothing in return. Yes, it's a book, but nothing can stop the dreaming.

2jlynn: How can people do such horrible things... especially to the innocent? My heart hurts thinking of what is reality for some individuals. My life may not be "storybook", but comparatively speaking, there is nothing to complain about.

More Recommendations

Reader0409: I’m really enjoying the story. Thank so much for sharing it with us.

Deloris McCoy: I like these type of stories. This is a good one. I will be reading the rest of them. Keep writing.

Janis Hynes: Really good!’n

Diane: I was really hoping that this book didn’t repeat the themes in the previous. It is the best one so far. Best thing I’ve read in a long time!

Diane: This is a good read. Be careful of reiterating the books previously written.

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