Children are running around gingerly, some skipping ropes despite being asked to rest by the doctor while others playing paper planes and visualizing themselves as the pilot. I am sitting on this cold bench like the elderly here. Even though they can’t see me, I still feel a bit awkward disturbing their lone time. The atmosphere has been the same as before. The corridors filled with excited laughs and heartbreaking sobs.
Dead bodies covered in a white sheet are being carried away while their beloveds cry their heart out. Their heart-wrenching cry sings the tune of sorrow and despair, every rhythm twisting my heart into a knot that no condolence can unknot it. As I look back to my body lying uselessly and depending upon the beeping machine for survival, the twist in my heart keeps on increasing.
But with every bad side having a glimpse of goodness to it I can see tears of happiness too. I can hear the silent prayer of gratitude and the poison of doubtfulness and stress being evaporated. The smiles on the wife and children after their father has been declared safe and the little girl lying next to me with her dimples after battling cancer had me tear up without any reason.
The sun was shining over its brim as its ray spilled onto the earth beneath. Freshness hung onto the air intoxicating every person walking nearby with crispness and zeal. The place was wonderfully adorned with floras covering every corner of the place. The garden was a total definition of paradise on the earth and completely contradicting the heartbreaking scene inside.
As I walk down further to the garden nearby, I saw a couple holding hands while circling the garden. The old couple seems to be in their seventies as they both giggled and chatted as if they have just met and fallen in love. The sight made me feel intrigued and my line of vision followed them incessantly. As I continue to watch them, the old man stooped to pluck a white daffodil and gave it to his wife. The old woman smiled and gave the old guy a peck on his cheek. The old man hummed his rhythm of excitement as they continued to walk further.
The scene was beautiful and much better than the reenacted ones in the movie. I was so overwhelmed feeling the burning love and respect between them that it had me wonder whether I have experienced any form of endearment.
While I was young and healthy, I have never paused my time to watch those beautiful things around me. I have robotically followed the pre-planned schedule every day that I have failed to rejuvenate my vigor and strength. I was always busy attending to clients and meetings that the mindset of everything around me was monotonous and meaningless.
While I was watching my body on the death bed fighting to stay alive with no one around to look after, I thought I would never ever see the uniqueness and beauty everyone speaks. I thought I would just be the emotionless person I have always been and there wouldn’t be anything that would be able to invoke the sentimentality within me. But as I progress out and walk further it has irked me that there are more things to know and everything can be beautiful if seen with positivity.
The ability to feel more alive had me fascinated that I knew I had to learn and experience further. It was quite sarcastic to know that I was dead and unfeeling when alive but I was learning to live and enjoy while being dead.
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