{{ contest.story_page_sticky_bar_text }} Be the first to recommend this story.
Get Free Copy

100 free copies left

This novel is limited to 100 free copies due to its part in Inkitt’s Novel Contest.

0
Free copies left
You can choose from our best books below
Jaime Santibanez would love your feedback! Got a few minutes to write a review?
Write a Review

The Struggle, of Vice and Virtue

By Jaime Santibanez All Rights Reserved ©

Romance / Other

Blurb

How much is Love really worth? Is it worth your time, worth your effort, worth your hopes and dreams...Is it worth your life? How strong, is love?...Delicate as a flower, hardy as a tree, strong as steel? Doesn't that depend on the qualities of love in your life; qualities of you, and the people around you? We are capable of wonderful, and terrible, things... In the pretext of things to come, have you considered what you might become? Have you loved so much, you couldn't bare to be without...What might you become, if something precious to you, was at risk? Love, is often described as a source of peace and serenity...that may be true, though only half the truth...it is also a source of chaos and turmoil, because we may fight with ourselves, for the sake of love...Our imperfections, will often divide us... Genuine relationships bond beyond boundary, traverse the depths in our hearts. Convenient relationships are fueled only by need, as shallow as the shore, little risk.

Epiphany?

The Mad Reality of Dreams

So it's been awhile since I've written anything, anything worth writing about anyways...Today, this particular piece of literature has a purpose; to help me remember, lest I forget and lose myself along with everything that really mattered...I may lose myself to my own madness If I don't remember, and I MUST remember. Losing yourself because you've lost your way, because your focus is lost and misguided, it's excruciatingly terrifying to see the path you've been treading and what lies ahead if you continue...You creature of habit...

Let's bring you all up to speed on this life before getting into the premise of my ordeal and the hope that I'll be able to change my ways and my life. I'm a young man, brought up to stick with and take care of my family, a habit of being a homebody. My brother, with his unique character molded around the family and his cerebral palsy, has played an integral part in my life and helped make me the man I am today, and the man I want to be. My mother, keeps the house and presides over external ventures of the family, though many a day she finds herself wracked with pain due to corporeal complications...Makes me the breadwinner, so to speak...Have to provide.

To be young again, the days we were carefree and just had fun...Those days were few for me...

Since the age of approximately five, I began the grueling task of taking care of my brother and I...Don't get me wrong, I did it because it felt Right with me. The day I started, I had the greatest satisfaction I could ever remember. Over the last few years, I'd come to realize that my family had put on some weight, so to speak...They had become a burden to me. My mentality had become skewed since the days of old youth. The days of my actions being simply helpful and supportive, had become a necessity, a requirement by principle...The labyrinth of my heart is illuminated by Virtue...The only good I'm certain of and well acquainted with, by its terms, I can see clearly.

Some of this story will be embellished due to diminished memory of events that happened in my dream state, the most certain is the event that came about and the epiphany that entailed. (Well, was thinking about coming up with a short story of sorts that people might be willing to read...)

The setting: In the backyard of a yellow, tall standing house, standing in the green grass surrounded by a wooden picket fence. Along the side of the house, there's a pathway of swerving stepping stones in between the cement foundation and the fence...The path had become a mire, quicksand like and the stepping stones were disappearing one by one subconsciously...but turned into something like a pool of lava, without me noticing any of the change.

As I head for bed, after an eventful night at work,--- (In this moment in time, I realized I had neglected my brother and anything that really mattered, for all the bull shit life has to offer.) Feeling my heart disappear, losing all sense of anything else, shock struck me like lightening but set in gradually...

Excruciatingly terrified and gashed by my snap realization that my brother might very well be lost to me in the mire of retrograde fire lava with only a snag of a chance left to pull anything out...I ran to pull the vine before it was lost to me, I pulled quickly with every desperate heave hoping for the best case scenario. The more I pulled, the lighter it felt, overwhelmed with anguish and regret that I let myself become distracted by all the trivial matters of the world when I was about to lose everything for my absence and neglect. "For the love of God, let him be ok"...I'd already lost myself and was nowhere to be found, the only thing that needed to be found was him. I reached the end of my rope, and a charred and slightly cut up version of my brother surfaced to me...His frail stature and obscure form was beyond saving realistically. I clenched him close and cried in agony and dismay, feeling some inkling of life ebbing from him, but in my heart, I had fucked up beyond all recognition, there was no saving him from this careless neglect. I was being ripped from the inside...

I couldn't take it anymore, I awakened from the deathly nightmare, mortified by the event. Tears shed occasionally as I pondered my dream, reflecting symbolically on my actions and my life. Everything I own and everything I do is valued little in comparison to my family, but I have taken them for granted having them around constantly. Fear wracked my mind as I wondered if I'd be able to change my life so radically, because creatures of habit don't generally change...If I forget this, then my life will not change, and by the end of my rope, I'll be losing everything without having had lived fully and happily with them...A life decrepit, pitiful, and life burdened by regret.

I think to myself, "I should go check on them"....but I continue to lie there and think about it, thinking that lying there would be harmlessly more appealing...When nothing might be farther from what I felt needed to be done. After a little while, I got out of bed, with my dogs quick on the queue, at four in the morning and went out to the living room where my mom and brother were passed out on each chair of the couch while they were watching TV. Feeling a little chilly in the room, I pulled my blanket over me but noticed my brothers was scattered over him, and I adjusted it so I was sure he'd be warm.

Now, come to write this memoir of sorts into existence, that I will remember and hopefully keep to this conviction and tread passionately onward hoping that I can lead a new life...but we all know, hope isn't enough, it's colorful like a rainbow leading somewhere, but something has to take you there...

"For the love of God, let me change the man I am today, so I can be a better man tomorrow...

How much is my work worth, if it's wasted and made worthless...

In my aims to help people as they have need, I've had little ability to help myself if I have need..."

I write this little story, not only for myself, but for others who tread a path lost and desolate. If we walk alone in our burden, we will eventually find ourselves with nothing because we've neglected anything of real value in our lives. When you look back on your life, what made it all worth living for? People often lose themselves to the distractions of life, but what could be more valued? Life is passing and fleeting, everything else shall remain, but when we are gone...We might appreciate the beauty of life, how invaluable it was those in our lives...We see real beauty...

Continue Reading Next Chapter
Further Recommendations

Dessie Williams: loved the book. the plot the characters all just great.I think it's a must read. once you start this book it's hard to put down. hope it gets published....I think this book is a must read.great job!!!!

SandraHan1: This story is very descriptive, with vivid scenes from the very beginning, which made for a good scene setting. I love the symbolism in names, such as “Naysayers”, “Hadd”, etc . The story itself is revolutionary, intriguing, emotional and exciting. I was very pleased to see that there is a happy ...

Alex Rushmer: This was not what I expected, but I enjoyed it a lot Malfoy was always one of the characters that I liked a lot, so I like that a lot of this happens between him and Colette. I read the first couple chapters, and I enjoyed your writing style and am excited to see where you take this story. My com...

Alkira Joan: Great story, I found it hard to read especially the dialogue. You just need to fix up some spelling errors and the gramma .I enjoyed this book. was a little hard to get though.,.,..,.,.,,..,.,.,, , , , ,.,, , , , , , , ,., , ,.,,,,,

Althea Kerr: This is a tale that is all too familiar to South African readers having lived through a war era on our borders and beyond. It is obviously autobiographical as the mind under duress is so detailed and real. It has fantastic suspense if a bit disjointed - perhaps that is the fear and loneliness com...

263Adder: Okay so I adore this story. I only knocked one star off plot for historical inaccuracies because I'm a bit of a stickler for that. The ending broke my heart though, considering you already changed history couldn't you (SPOILER) change it a bit more and have them together!!!! I want an alternative...

Alex Rushmer: Chapter One: Not much is happening in this chapter, but I was absolutely fascinated by the depth of your character development. I love how you just sat there with the reader and explored Eddward. Usually, that sort of thing gets boring very fast, but this was actually really cool! He's so unique ...

Ruby0h: Overall I thought your story was really good! It drew me in right away and kept me interested as the story progressed. I loved the character of Kayla being inserted into this story, and the way she affected and shaped the life of the original story into something totally new and interesting. I lo...

Atractivo Sumit: The story is an amazing blend of what we call natural, plain romance along with subtle emotions and interesting twists. The plot is so beautifully interwoven.

More Recommendations

emmaneal74: I loved this booked. Would definitely buy it when published and read it again. The story flowed in such a way I just couldn't put it down. I was never confused about the characters or their roles in the story which can happen sometimes with so many lead. I'd recommend this to anyone wanting to r...

maewilde25: I liked this, though it dragged on for over 200pages and heaven knows I did not expect the plot twist in the middle. David being Cristiãn. I was wondering when he would show up and didn't know he was there all along. it looks like there should be a sequel, please let there be a sequel. I know the...

ArgyrisMetaxas: Thrilling story which builds layer ontop of layer. A few mis spellings every few chapters. What I found special was that it took a modern day problem and took it to its logical conclusion and plays this realism with gritting precision. I'm always on edge ready to shout from adrenaline. This is gr...

Marimar Amieva: I just can't believe the story! I absolutely loved it, all of it. The characters and their chemistry between them, and the fact that they are relatable. The story also has some sick plot twists, which I never saw coming. I loved the fact that it is an adorable love story but has its mystery touc...

Stephen Warner: To start off, I am thoroughly impressed. The writing style is somewhat unique, and the plot seemed to move at a nice and steady pace. However, I was not expecting this to be a vampire book! I am usually not one for novels about vampires, but I was pleasantly surprised! You wrote with such grace a...

rihannabkj2: Great story,I can hardly stop reading this novel. it shows that compassion and love can still exist after so many years between two persons. I most say well done to the Author who wrote this book. Others should read this book inorder to know that there can still be LOVE among two persons no matt...

About Us:

Inkitt is the world’s first reader-powered book publisher, offering an online community for talented authors and book lovers. Write captivating stories, read enchanting novels, and we’ll publish the books you love the most based on crowd wisdom.