Reality.
loneliness starts to eat you up inside after a while, the clenching pain inside of your chest eating you away making it very hard to breathe. I sometimes feel like it's my fault the reason I'm lonely is it the person I am is it me. all of these questions wrapped inside my brain like a heavy sandstorm that won't stop no matter how hard I try to ignore it it just happens. I'm the one that dragged myself away from the people I surrounded myself but they don't even bother with me ever I usually have to invite myself to my friend's plans. I'm no backup plan I'm not even a second maybe even first option to them, I don't exist only when necessary they aren't real friends, are they?
of course, they aren't real friends don't make yourself feel like the lonely feeling is your fault or question yourself constantly if you're a good person for people. what's the point in being around people if they don't wanna be around you? did I do the right thing by taking myself away making the lonely feeling even worse for myself.
