I know she thinks I think she hates me, but I know she doesn’t, and I also know I am the only other person, besides herself, who knows what happened 17 years ago. It really doesn’t matter how I found out but what matters is how she is dealing with it. My name is Gade and katrina is my sister and my mother is Graciella, and my dad is Ovilion. That is my family, the Walters, a picture-perfect family, with me not around of course. I barely exist to them, except my dad who tries to check up on me occasionally. And as for my mother, she gives small genuine smiles here and there to just let me know that she cares, whether she shows it or not. I cannot wait to get out there and see the world, because I believe that there is some good in this place. I mean, it can’t all be dark, there’s gotta be where the sunshine is, and the wind feels great blowing your hair. Well, this is my senior year, and, in a few months, it will all be over. I really can't wait, and speaking of which, I better get to school. I got out of my room looking as normal and as unnoticeable as I possibly could. When I got downstairs, Katrina was telling them about how she is still maintaining her averages well. I am an A+ student and they just give me a nod every time I come home with a card or cup from debate. I even stopped showing them when it ‘slipped’ out, and my dad said I am bragging and trying to take the spotlight from my sister and put her in the background. I thought my mom would come talk to me and that I would get something other than her smiles, but she didn’t talk to my dad for just that day and he said something to her and just like that, they went back to whatever bubble they live in. I often wonder if my dad knew her secret, but I doubt it because he wouldn’t be this lenient with either of us. You got that right; I know who he is.
“Gade, come take some breakfast and Katrina will find you at school.”
I had even forgotten that I stood at the staircase, staring blankly at them. I nodded and walked to the kitchen to make myself a sandwich then left. Thank God for my mother when she called out to me, I would have otherwise missed the bus because I was so lost in my thoughts. I can’t wait to get to school, if only the bus would go faster. Yáll probably wondering who I want to see because I don’t have any friends, you’ll see. And here we are, in Greensburg, the all-time great school. The best in the country. Well, I am waiting to see Tyron, he is the hottest guy in school. You might ask what a nerd is doing crushing on a guy like him, me and him have heard the same classes since third grade and just because he is popular for his looks and all, he has never treated me the way everyone does. Don’t worry I know my limits when it comes to him.
I walked to my locker, careful not to step on anyone’s toes as I have successfully done so since elementary. I take out my books for the first three periods and head to class in time, just as Mr. Austin likes. A minute after I had gotten inside and took my seat, Mr. Austin walked in. He was the perfect site to look at, emerald eyes and has a very pleasing appearance, not to mention sexually alluring. It was very evident that I was always more than pleased to go to his class and the fact that he offered extra lessons, mostly to me since I am the only one interested in staying late to do some ’schoolwork, that also made me learn some stuff about him. Not enough to research him like I do everyone. But surprisingly I didn’t mind or fight it, I wanted to get to know him, normally, like through talking and spending time with him. He did look a little too young to be a teacher but to my eyes, guess that’s what made him more attractive. But I thought of how wrong it would be to get into a relationship with him and I had told myself it doesn’t matter whether it would be wrong or right because I don’t have feelings for him, I like Tyron and I just must make Tyron see that we are meant to be together. I pushed through those thoughts at the back of my mind, and I tried to focus for my first class with Mr. Austin although I had to reprimand myself many times. My first three periods went by very fast, and I had gym after that before lunch. I wasn’t stiff, in fact I am very flexible, but I still didn’t like this period. Well thank God it was only for twenty-five minutes. After gym was over, I went to take a seat at the benches and waited for everyone to leave so that I could have a moment for myself, as I always do. Soon everyone left and I was left alone to shower freely and eat in there. It’s not like I have anyone to talk to. I only talked to Mr. Austin during my free time on text, unless school was out, and it was time for extra lessons or homework. I got to the showers a few minutes after everyone had left. ‘And what does Austin have to do for little Gade to send a smile?’ That was the last text I got from Mr. Austin before I got into the shower. I showered nicely while playing a song on the phone that was always calming to my soul, not my favorite but surely perfect for these times. I got out of the shower then wrapped myself in a towel that ended mid thighs. I gasped when I saw that I was not alone, and I nearly had a heart attack when I saw who it is that is in here with her.
This girl is gonna be the death of me. Why can’t I just do what I must and stop giving focus to these distractions, but the way she looks at me, God it’s breath-taking. She will really be the death of me. I wish we could spend time together even at lunch, time with her always pass by so fast. I would freeze every moment with her if possible. I texted her and she hasn’t responded to me at all. I should probably go check on her, maybe she is done taking her shower. It didn’t take me long before I reached the showers in the gym, and I made sure that no one followed me because I know she wouldn’t wanna get into trouble. I knocked twice before realizing that her music is probably too loud to hear my knocks. I peeked just to make sure that she isn’t naked or anything like that, not that I would mind though. She was still in the shower, so I walked in and waited for her outside her shower door. I did not think this through because I didn’t expect her to come out with a towel that doesn’t cover her whole thighs, I must have been stupid to think she would magically come out of the shower fully dressed and now she is standing there, looking for the same explanation I am looking for. Why the hell didn’t I just wait for her to respond first. I facepalmed myself for my continued stupidity when it comes to her.
"I am sorry, I should have waited for your text instead of just budging in here and, and... I’m sorry.”
I headed for the door, and I realised I had her phone so I went to put it down fast, avoiding eye contact with her because she would break me right now and I might, might just give in to temptations and desires I’ve locked away.
“Wait, don’t go.”
What, why would she want that, I cannot control my emotions for long if she looks like that.
“If I don’t go, I might... and I don’t think we should, I mean we can’t.”
I was still looking at the door, wondering why the hell am I not out of this place yet. I would have been out of here before she even spoke, but my damn legs aren’t willing to carry me through, they are totally bailing out on me.
“I know, but...”
Her hands are so soft, so warm, they almost feel hot against my cold skin. Why is she doing this to me, if she knows, why is she not helping me fight this? Her small fingers brushing my arm, I could feel the effect this has on her too. I took her hand, she was still behind me, she gasped at my touch. Making me just want to always touch her. All I want to do is bend her over this bench and take her right now. Come on, concentrate, you must look at her and just tell her this cannot be, and leave then we will just continue the way we were. I didn’t even realize that I was brushing her hand and my touch made her shiver a bit.
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