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when your heart loves someone who's heart loves someone else

when your heart loves someone who’s heart loves someone else
and the world is so small and so empty,
and you laugh because of course you fell in love with someone
who won’t ever love you.
you self-destruct and pretend that eventually everything will fall into place,
with fantasies of a life you know you’ll never have with them and you try to forget that they won’t ever be starry-eyed for you.
when brief glances are loaded with lust and hope and nothing else but false feelings and hollow meaning and they’re probably a little creeped out because
your eyes lingered for a little too long and you aren’t usually this kind of person,
but really you are because last week you had a different love interest and the week before that
two more.
you know that it’s probably not true love, just a desperate attempt to try and make yourself feel some sort of power over yourself,
to get the attention of someone else
who loves someone else
and to be someone they choose as a priority
and maybe that makes you a bad person, but you try to be strong, and try not the be the homewrecker you judge that lives down the street.
you tell your heart to stop being this way, stop falling so easily, to love yourself as strongly as it loves everyone else for once,

but instead your heart loves someone who’s heart loves someone else.

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