Chapter 10: Happiness And Joy
What does happiness and joy mean to you? Is it when you have money? When you have the power to control others’ lives? Or is it something that cannot be bought or sold, something you hold inside that can only be gained from a deeper understanding of oneself that no one else can destroy your joy? There is satisfaction in knowing that you are growing and doing your best. Believe that someone will test your balance and try to destroy your joy, but if you take solace in a strong foundation built on a rock and not sand, then you can understand that no man or woman can take your joy away
from you no matter the situation or what you are facing.
It is amazing how misery loves company and the pain others are willing to cause others in order to feel better about themselves for a fleeting moment. Such actions can never be truly rewarding, avoiding the inevitable fact that they do not know how to act or find happiness in their own life, seeking to cause strife and fill the emptiness inside themselves with
actions of hate, only to deepen their fate. Time always tells the toll. You reap what you sow by your own actions and intentions. What you do return tenfold, as what goes around comes around. So why do you surround yourself with such actions of degradation and separation? Violations committed against another for personal gain to bring them pain, you find pleasure in this? It is never truly satisfying or gratifying.
It blackens the soul and keeps you on a road of emptiness. A void of blackness that you can’t escape only gets deeper and darker to the point where you are totally lost beyond redemption. Wake up (if you do not make a U-turn) and see the light or error of your ways.
I used to try and reach you because I felt a connection, thinking it was natural selection. But after recollection, it was the wrong choice. It was never meant to be. It definitely was not worth the misery. I endured trying to show you how much I cared, taking for granted the things I tried to share with you. Never will you find one that would have given his all to see you live your dreams. Instead, you schemed on ways to play games to shame me or blame me. Playing games of the heart to tear my world apart, using games of the mind and being unkind, finding that everything you said or claimed was
a lie to help you get by.
You wonder why life is so hard and that everyone you meet does not treat you with respect. Well, it’s for the hell you caused and the way you act. You refuse to understand that not only must you love yourself if no one else, but you must also have respect for yourself. Your lack of respect in the way you act in public places, with no traces of concern for your
disrespectful mannerism that impress only those that have the same dysfunction as you, show the ignorance you possess.
What do you think you want to prove when you take for granted the one who treats you with the love you want and deserve, but yet, you show such disgust or distaste to disgrace someone willing to spend his or her last to pull you through the muck and you chuck it all away for one or more days of carnal pleasure in these trying times and crimes of passion fashion long-lasting feelings of remorse or regret when you look back on how you acted in haste and wasted what could have been everlasting?