Love, Lust, or Something Else

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Chapter 18: The Man

Staring out of the window

with a sadness on my face
while I am driving to work
down the interstate
I see all kinds of people as they
drive here and there
but are they real can they feel
do any of them really care
I get up and I go to work
every single day
but I know that I am sick I
Know that I am not okay
while other people
talk and joke with laughter and
their smiles I don’t remember
the last time I did but I know
it has been quite a while
So I leave work and I
go home and go to sleep again
just to wake up the next day
and do it all over again and again
all alone now in my dark
where nobody wants to live
with chaos and confusion
always going on in my head
my dreams are all nightmares
that all come true I am helpless to
stop it so what can I do
I cannot get hurt when I am alone
it will not be for me so why
answer the phone
I look into the mirror
but what do I see it is
someone else that is not really me
but if I look really hard there I am
hiding behind a mask again
a deep darkness fills the man who
is me and there is no light that
I can ever see
I feel a drop a tear that is all
there are so many now
that I cannot stop them all
the war that I fought is
now all in my head fighting
empty shadows and
it is only against myself
that is what they said the man
who I was strong and
he tried to help
but he was so busy fighting
back his own living hell against
addiction, depression, abuse
PTSD.
I have always wondered
but now I can see
That man who fought against
the darkness, the man
who never gave up
right from the very start,
the man who was he
that man that I know well

that man well he used to be me.

If you love someone you need to let them know even if they do not feel the same about you, for you never know what may happen down the road.

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