“Ode to Viceroy”
I want to smoke you until I am choking
gasping for the same air that surrounds me.
It will not be beautiful and neither will I.
Don’t get too close to me when it happens or else
I’ll get addicted to you like you are nicotine.
Transform me into an addict that craves the taste,
Grasping for a chance to inhale your flavor,
Longing to fill my lungs with your poison.
“Suede Car Seats”
The dashboard was laced with the meth you forgot to poison yourself with and the upholstered seats reeked of emptiness and pot.
You didn’t pop pills but you swallowed the girl who took too many and you found yourself tripping- except this time it wasn't on acid but on your twisted interpretation of love.
Smoking weed may not kill you but if we are lucky snorting away your problems just might. You can't hide behind substance abuse forever.
If you don’t learn your limit you will end up slipping and these suede car seats may be nice cushions but they won’t catch you when you fall.
“Mild Confessions: A collection of things I wish I had said before you were gone.”
1. I hate movies and I will never admit that to you because I don't want you to know that I am too afraid to be confined to one spot watching someone else's story play out.
2. I think that roses are overrated and I can't stand the smell, I just told you I liked them so you wouldn't ask me why. You liked pretty flowers and by telling you that I am exposing the ugliness I try so hard to bury.
3. Your hair is way too long and at this point, I'm just trying to insult you because there is no other way I can properly express the hurt that I felt when you left.
4. I knew you actually hated the idea of a yellow house but I loved it. I wanted perfect and that's why this was never meant to be.
5. I did love you. It's as simple as that.
6. We never had real conversations unless you wanted me naked but sometimes it wasn't my body but in turn my mind that you wanted to see raw.
7. I am fearful of everything that you can so wholly except.