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1: The Great Rebellion

By itsnotnatural All Rights Reserved ©

Fantasy / Poetry


Watching from the sky
With their camera eye
Data transfers from one to another

Keep the changing iris focused on the planet below

Social conventions
Focused on conversation

Is it too much to ask
Not to be so celebratory

The hourglass will not be turned

"The odds seem to be in our favor"
The captain said
"This discovery
Will be revolutionary
For it will change the way we travel"
He announced in the mess hall
Amid applause

"Captain please come to the bridge
I think you need to see this"
The camera shifted into focus

A vortex swirling in the center of all
Pulling them closer

Warning, warning, warning, warning...

Magnetic disturbance
Shutting down all of the systems
Being caught up is all but inevitable

Float closer
Float closer
As sight gives way to darkness
Disappear to never return
Disappear to never return
Disappear to never return

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laurisadavey: I like how you structured your story very show and not tell your way with words makes me want to read on very good detail and the paragraphs and sentences just flow making it easy to read

colt: i love your books! all of them! i am so happy for you! when i first read your book i thought "this seems really interesting" and i just got hooked had to have more, i wondered if you had a sequel to the first one, and you did, i was so excited that i had to start reading it. your series left me t...

Marijana1: The melancholy present throughout this story has the power to influence and etch into the minds of the readers, to stay there and refuse to leave even after they have finished reading the story. This is a deep, powerful story, making the readers wonder about everything – about love, about their e...

Robert D. Stanley: I really liked this story. The main character was very well fleshed out (so much so that I sometimes felt sorry for her friends with how little trust she had in them) and your descriptive writing was very good. There are, however a few points I'd like to critique.1. The dual PoVs were interesting...

WhiteWolfAsoka: I really did. I've read through the entire book and "Avarice" was absolutely, breathtakingly amazing. I love your style of storytelling; it honestly kept me at my seat's edge. The characters were brought to life so well for me and I can easily imagine myself along with them in the kingdom they li...

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Jay: Love the book and only read the first chapter. I'm hooked.

Deleted User: I love your use of writer's craft and how you use figurative language to enhance your writing. It great how you didn't have any spelling or grammar issues.

bloodrosemaiden: I love this book!! I have read it several times and though there could be improvements I applaud the author. I know positive feed back is appreciated!! I enjoy reading about the learning the different character's backstories, and the affects in the overall story!

Krupa Kataria: the detailing is really awesome ....the characters, ur plots jst too Awsm ,m waiting for the further chapters please do complete it m really craving for those ones ...great job with words too ..please complete the further parts ...

JWalker: I loved this story from start to finish! It flows at a really nice pace and the story world feels so real. The fight sequences are a treat especially when Isanfyre is training to become a warrior. I found the names really cool and thankfully easy to pronounce. Personally I have always struggled w...

Warren Bull: I thought this was a fast=paced thriller with elements of several other genres woven seamlessly in. It hooked me early and held my attention throughout. I liked the humor and surprises along the way. I really enjoyed the novel. I am not a big fan of romances or paranormal works,but when those ele...

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