The Mask of the Lonely
A feeling that almost everyone in the world wants to feel with another person whether it be familial or with another person not related by blood. Love is all around us but yet it seems as though we can never achieve it ourselves and it can cause feelings of loneliness, frustration and sadness. We begin to wonder why everyone seems to have somebody to love but not yourself, why are you alone?
Questions begin to fly around in the heads of those with low self-esteem and we wonder, am I ugly? Is it the way I act? Will I ever find love? Do I deserve love?
Slowly we begin to withdrawal into ourselves and wrap our arms around our middles as if to hold ourselves together. Sometimes we even imagine that it is someone else holding us up and is trying to take away our feelings of pain and sadness. Someone to make us feel loved, happy and joyful instead of the depression that seems to travel with us.
These thoughts drag me down but I try not to show them, I created the perfect mask so that no one sees that I am frowning and actually screaming for comfort. Instead all they see and hear are the smile and laughter that comes from the mask. It slowly kills me until I reach the point where I want to break free from that mask but it seems that it will not come off, at least not completely.
I broke the mask but only partially and my eyes were finally revealed to the world. But it seems those around me still do not fully see what is wrong and when I try to tell them the smile replaces the truth... and they believe everything is fine. The thought of no one being able to help me, comfort me is heartbreaking and I thought I would just die. But then he happened and everything began to get better. At first I was reluctant and did not want to trust him but something told me to go out there. What did I have to lose? So I did and in doing so I made one of the best decisions of my life. I am tired of comforting everyone else and wish that for once, someone comforts me.
I am of the broken and damaged, the lost and lonely and struggle to go through each day...as myself.