Warfare of the Brain

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Tearing Threads

I envy those people that have
The freedom to be together.
Fate has a mean way
Of tying two people together,

And then tearing them apart.

I long for the time
When I am finally independent
And can break out from
The cage called home.
I long for the time
When I can escape
The tight, choking hold around me
Called my parents.
I long for the time
When I am free
And can run to the person
Who I want to be with,
Who I love so much,
Who can make me the happiest,
Who can appreciate me for me.

Anxiety creeps upon me
When we have to organize
When to meet.
Sadness seeps into my veins
When I have to
Tell you goodbye.
Sighs leave my lips
When I have to pretend
That I don’t love you.

Because I am scared.

I fear the day
When we didn’t tread
Carefully enough
I fear the day
When I have to
Tell and confess.
I fear the day
When I might
Be forced apart from you.

Because I chose to love you.
Because I chose to accept you.
Because I chose you.
Because I chose...

To hide the biggest secret
Of my life...

A secret that will either
Give me the greatest joy
Or the greatest sorrow.
A secret that has to be timed
Just perfectly,
At the precise, exact moment
Before being told.
A secret that will weigh
Months of hardship,
Tears, stress, panic,
Shouts, fights, anger,
To protect you.

It’s always for you.

But I am scared...

They can’t know now.
They must not know now.
Or you may disappear
And I have to stand by
And watch.

“I’m begging you...”
“This is the person
Who I want to be with...”
“Accept him...”

I promised you
That I will protect you.

But can I?
From them?

I just want to be with you...
In safety,
In peace,
In happiness.
Because I love you.

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