Lifeline

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Smile

***Trigger Warning***

Please don’t read if you’re prone to self-harm or suicidal thoughts.

**Disclaimer** nothing in this poem is reflective of my actual life.

Is it truly a cry for help?
When a shattered soul
Let’s the blood drip free,
Is it an answer they seek?
Or a temporary release
So that, for a moment,
Their hearts feel warm once more?
If the former,
Then damn I think I need help.
It’s okay though, I’m fine.
See my smile, my light?
I’m happy.
Look, see?
I’m breathing,
And I want to.
No, it’s okay, you don’t
Have to come check on me later,
When I’m alone in my room.
Don’t mind those sobs you hear.
I’m watching a movie.
Help me.
Sorry, what was that?
Oh, don’t worry about my
Sudden rush to the bathroom.
Sometimes I go a little too deep
And the blood won’t stop.
Heh, just kidding.
I really had to pee.
Help me.
No, I didn’t say anything.
Just, would please keep that blade
Away from me?
No one told me I’d get
Addicted to the scarlet beads
That trail lines to my finger tips.
That I’d relish in the pain,
And then the numbness.
That, with each new ribbon in my skin,
I’d feel a little more human.
No one told me it’s get this bad.
I’m a cripple in a healthy body.
Help me.
That thing you just said?
That was funny!
It made me laugh.
That means I’m okay.
Right?
You don’t have to worry about me.
I’m just a normal teen
Living a normal life.
Help me.
Do you want to play a board game later?
I can tire myself out by pretending,
And maybe I’ll sleep better.
Maybe I won’t stare up in the dark
For hours before I fall asleep.
That’d be nice.
Help me.
Let’s do a puzzle together.
I can pretend we’re putting back
The withered pieces of me.
Help me.
Hey, I like your shirt.
Smile.
Dinner was lovely.
Smile.
Thank you for everything.
Smile.
I’m great!
Smile.
I’m doing good.
Smile.
I’m okay.
Smile.
I’m just tired.
Smile.
I’m surviving.
Smile.
I’m fading.
Smile.
I’m dying.
Smile.
Help me.

Smile.

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