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Everything Is Clear

Everything is so much clearer
When I’m around you.
It’s like the leaves stop falling.
The world stops spinning,
And yet,
Spins even faster.
Every detail is sharp and dangerous.
The edge of a blade.

Your eyes are like crystals.
Unlike your mouth,
They can speak no lies.
I see the truth in you.
I don’t hear it.

Do you remember when you were a child?
You did not know me then,
Nor I you,
But I can imagine you
Playing in fields, in trees, in the streets.
Why do we lose purity and goodness
With age?
I know I have changed.
I have become darker.
I have seen more hardship
Than the average person does
In a lifetime.
So have you.

I’m not sure why
The world is this way.
It takes
And takes
And takes.
But what does it give?
Nothing, some might say.
It gave me you.

Everything is clear.
I am with you and I can feel.
I can feel things I’ve never felt before.
Love, jealousy, heartbreak, sadness.
So much love.
And so much fear.

Nothing lasts.
Everything must end.
I don’t want you to end.
I don’t want us to end.

Why is there so much meaning
Behind one smile?
You smile at me
And the sun has never shined brighter.
What do you see,
Behind my smile?
My love?
My want?
My pain?
There is no hiding the truth.
In the end,
It always comes out.
I dread that day.

I don’t know what I’m doing.
I don’t know where I am,
Who I am.
Do you?

It’s like I’ve jumped from a cliff.
And my whole life has been spent
Will you catch me?
I hope so.
Do you have the strength?
Do I?
I am weak.
And so are you.

We’ve come full circle
In this wicked game we play.
Our annihilation is nigh.
It’s only a matter of time.

If I could, I would beg for you to live.
You deserve more than I can give you.
I have nothing.
Why do you stay?
I am not worth your time.
Are you worth mine?
I think so.

I can see you are trapped
In the dark.
Where is the light
At the end of this tunnel?
Why can’t you see it?
Why can’t I?
I know it’s there,
Just out of reach.
I will find it for you,
I promise.
You can be happy again.
You will be happy again.
But I will not be there to see it.
Your salvation will be my doom.
So be it.

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