Clear Blue Water
So many places, faces, smiles, and fucked up spaces,
Where you were never alone,
No one was ever really there,
They were just voices on the phone.
You can still see them flying out of the corner of your eye,
Their hair is shining.
Blue eyes crying as words run foul when no one was to blame,
As clear blue water pours down into rain.
That corner of the room is cold and dark,
And it gets so much harder to see,
As three months becomes thirteen years for me.
The hair is not so shiny now,
And the clouds don’t call out her name,
But after all that’s happened,
You still love her just the same.
She was always half-way there and nobody could have stopped that stare,
At other shadows in the pain.
Men’s faces that must be overcome and overcame.
To a girl when I am bound to forget her name,
With all this clear blue water,
That pours down into rain.
I’ll keep it here,
Like a candle in the dark,
Shining like a spark through the thickness and then the thin.
Her voice is stumbling now,
Her body is soft and thin.
There came a time when it was almost comfortable,
It showed me showers and all the places wonderful.
It brought me from a sleep,
From a space where the flowers would not keep,
From mountains high where love didn’t know its name,
In all that clear blue water that pours down into rain.
A shelled summer beach that was just too busy to let loose,
From intentions that always hung there like a noose,
From the long cold staring at the ceiling,
To the sweat-drenched nights of too much feeling,
To too much of not wanting any human needing.
On the floor of a party all alone,
I can still see her in the cold dark corner, smiling,
Cold as stone.
Her hair drops down to her shoulder where it lands,
Who would have believed that she could have done this much to this strong a man.
I must try to remember her by her name.
I forget and I’m ashamed.
I drink a little more that night to clear the pain,
As that clear blue water,
Just keeps pouring into rain.
All the shadows that gather all around me,
Just start to look the same.
I wish there was someone here,
Someone left to blame.
Clear blue water,
Falls into the gutters like the rain.