Dear Coraline

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Bang Bang

I was 5 and he was 6

Or were we both six?

I can't remember.

all I remember is his exasperated look

His laugh

And the way he smiled at something that amused him

And I...

I felt something I didn't understand

I was 6 and he was 6

I remember the game

His laugh when he won

His exasperation when I played it wrong

How nice he was

The way he leaned on the door when I wanted to leave

And I felt something I didn't know

I was 7 and he was 7

He brought a friend

I was shy and curled into myself

I remember his laugh when they won

Though I never saw his smile

I was 7 and they were 7

He complained I never played it right

I fell for it, and we played once more.

I dreamed of his laugh

I was 8 and he was 8

He made me laugh

I thought the game would be different

The only change was the lock on the door

I think I died when he won

I was 8 and he was 8

I don't remember the walk back home

I don't remember telling my mum

I remember the stares after

The talk after

The casual way that people laugh

I remember his laugh

His anger

Or was it mine?

I was 6 and he was 6

All I wanted was a friend

Why did he have to laugh?


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