These are the children that cannot love (requiem)
But in all of life. I believe there is hope.
I remember the strides in my life that I have taken.
The progress I have made.
The people in my life are different. They are the people who I don't have to romanticize.
Yes. They have their faults but so do I. And the people I could not love.
I don't think I would have wanted to.
For none of them truly cared. None of them really cared enough to look at me and realize how much pain I felt.
How much I was folding into myself. Making myself as small as possible to not be seen. To not be heard.
To not be alone.
Yes. I now take a long time to let people in. yes, it's sometimes longer than it should be. I still believe each time that I am not truly invited.
That these people do not truly care.
But they are mine.
And now, when I feel the scrunch
When I finally feel the loving face I pull. The love in the corners of my eyes.
They seep into my soul.
And it is there.
And though it took me ages.
Though it started with a little crack that shocked me to my core. Now.
Now. It's like a breath on my soul. A warm feeling of full.
I can love. And I will love.
And there is hope.