Dear Coraline

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Remember

It's in the future that I wonder if I will be different.

I am lazy.

My brother is right.

I can't stop sinking into it

Into my vices

Because the world is just...

It's just...

My head is loud and my body is thick

and I wonder if I keep the voices open

I'll start listening

and I'll realize that I am unhappy

My life is not leading where I want it to

And regardless of that

Every time I try to think of where I want it to lead

The answer leaves my grasp.

I just know my next steps

I know the next step is mine

It's small and a foothold into my journey

After that

After that

It is the next one

And the next one

But I don't know all of them

And I don't know if they're leading where I want them to

I don't know where I want them to lead yet

I know I'll cross that bridge when I get there

But

How far is that bridge

Will I be dead before I reach it?

My soul gone from this world

My steps unfinished

My work for nothing

It doesn't upset me to think that

for some odd reason

Tolkiens sons published his books

Van Gogh was discovered after he fell

And we read Shakespeare to this day

Death is never permanent

You are remembered

I want to be remembered

Please let me be remembered

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