She asks herself, "Why am I ugly?"
She compares herself to that beautiful girl who sits next to the guy she likes. She gets compliments saying she's pretty or cute but she feels ugly when she receives them.
"Why am I just pretty?" she asks herself. She wants to be beautiful. She has a problem with her weight and people call her ugly for it. She doesn't understand why people don't see her as ugly.
"I'm ugly." she tells herself. She makes this joke where she puts her bangs in a mini ponytail and messes up her hair. She'll put the ponytail in front of her face and ask people if she's beautiful. She says it in a joking voice and people reply joking and laughing. There was this one boy who said something that stuck. Of course, it had to be the boy she liked. In a very serious tone he said, "Yes, always." Ever since that she rarely makes that joke.
Around him, she feels ugly. She fixes her hair and stands up straight. She sucks in her stomach and hides her peeling hands. She pulls up her pants and looks at her feet. She gets self-conscious and tries not to smile. She thinks about her big nose and how what's most ugly about herself is her weight. She doesn't feel that way around her friends. Around him, she can't help it. She thinks she's ugly and just wants to be beautiful. He could have any girl, and she thinks he wont pick her because she's ugly.
She thinks she's ugly. She just wants to be beautiful. She always thinks about the prettier girls and how they are beautiful. It's funny, she thinks she's ugly and she just wants to be seen as beautiful in his eyes. She's not ugly, she just doesn't see what everyone else sees.