A First for Everything
Today marks the first time I took a break from my robotic routine, and spent some time for myself.
Today marks the first time I clear my mind of raging emotions, and just try to enjoy the evening breeze on my skin.
Today marks the first time I watched the change of time, the sky transitioning from ocean blue to soft lilac, to the vast emptiness of space.
Today marks the first time I seem to prefer the company of silence.
Today marks the first time I considered being my true self, unleashing the monster that had been long trapped within my cage of bones.
Today marks the first time I think of leaving, of starting anew with a clean slate, away from the people I love, or rather memories of them.
Today marks the first time I realise how truly alone I am in this world, that even my family or closest of friends could not fill that growing void in my chest.
Today marks the first time, in a long time, I hate being who I am, who I was, and who I try to be.
Because for the first time, I understand that no matter what, I will never be enough for this world and for myself.
