Dos /// Let’s be Best Friends?
Let's start off by Saying
Happy Birthday Cayra
I'm trying to go in chronological order and
On your lovely birthday
No this isn't another love story
It's a continuation of my series of Goodbyes
So after I went to the priest and got the restraining order
I had to stay home for a bit
Until I was trust worthy, of course
So most of this took place in October and November
I stayed In
and began a few months of home schooling
And then came February
I was found to be 'better' and 'cured'
I started a new school.
At the time I thought I wouldn't have known anyone
Turns out I did
A lot of individuals
As a kid I moved schools often
So naturally I knew people everywhere
So you were one of the people I didn't know
I met you through Angelina and Dani
Keep in mind Angelina was the 'queen' or main one in the group so if she liked you
Everyone had to
She took a liking to me
So let me see I want to get this right
I didn't hang out with them first
No not at all
I first hung out with
Crystal, Brianna, Arleth, And a lot of other people
They were at the top of the chain.
But they were so boring
So fucking bland
One of the many people I knew was
this guy named Casey
With you we're going to skip a couple weeks
And I'll go back when Casey is needed
And for the others I have in mind
Angelina sat next to me in our Math class
we had lunch after that period
She invited me to meet you all
From the start I could tell
You were envious and jealous
While being introduced you
looked me up and down
You told me later why
You told me it's because I had a nice body.
How would that make any sense?
You were jealous of me
Because I had a small trunk and wide hips
were the exact words you used
That's pretty weird if you ask me.
Of things that I couldn't help
You said you didn't like me
Because I just got to that school
And I knew a lot of people
You said I had a pretty face and big eyes
You told me this years after.
So what type of two faced shit was that?
You secretly dislike me because of my
That's shallow as fuck.
Anyway besides the look you
We all became friends
Started hanging out more often
Til I completely stopped hanging
With the bland people
And you guys were interesting
The whole group was interesting
But I liked you guys
I still do.
But you were always being hateful
You'd act sincere and you never were.
My mom turned out to be pregnant
And let's just say later on you'll grow to know
Why I had to get out of school
And stay home schooled.
Everyone was pretty happy about the baby news
Months passed and the next year,
I moved schools and we lost touch for a while
Now we're going to get into it really
We're going to fast forward to these recent years
How can I tell this story with out spoiling the rest?
With me now being homeschooled I lost touch
She sent me a message on snap chat
And we slowly started talking again
It was nice at first
We'd talk normally and then we started getting closer
You started getting comfortable
And you started showing your true colors
Not towards me
No, no but you'd talk about all of
You'd tell me things that should've stayed
Between said parties
The whole group from the beginning of the story
Daniela, Angelina and the rest of them
the rest are irrelevant right at the moment
You all had problems and you fell apart
You told me things you had
Done and learned
Or you'd 'vent' and tell me
Shit you've done.
I might sound hypocritical
But this is my Goodbye letter
I can say as I please.
Mama always said the truth hurts.
Like a mother fucker
I never judged or said anything
About any of the things you did.
But you told me many
Many stories of things you've done.
But you shamed the next girl?
Did she do things you did?
Let's think here for a minute
Did she willingly send videos of herself
She just sent a bra pic.
But you slut shamed her to hell and back.
For something that we all probably have done.
You made me pity her
Not feel disgusted.
That pissed you off so you kept trying to tell me things
So I could feel the same way.
That's not justified in any way.
I have a question.
If you insisted you were a Virgin
How the hell could you shove three fingers inside yourself?
You made it a fucking point
You constantly said it.
Why would you need to justify it so often?
It's not like I cared
Or if you were so pure you'd get a
Is that what you wanted?
Something I've learned Is
It won't matter if you're the most pure
Or Virgin you could say
Or the most active
And if you are it doesn't mean you're a harlot
Because I promise you, no one gives a FUCKING FUCK.
The day you said i was your best friend
I was shocked
This happens quite a lot for me
It's nothing bad
People get along with me quite well
I'm very understanding
So they tell me I mean so much to them
And that I'm their bestest friend
But I was unsure if you were the type of friend I'd
Consider my best one?
Let's talk about something else.
You'll hear more of Charlene in later chapters
But for now I want to speak of
what you did to her
You were talking to one of your newest boy toys
You thought he was the one.
You mentioned him.
I asked for his last name
I knew him.
Oh darling I knew him well.
I slipped up and said Charlene once had a thing
And you speedily texted me
Telling me to talk to her about it.
To rub it in her face
To make her hurt.
I thought about it
In later chapters you'll hear of the vile things she'd done to me
So she reminded me
I shouldn't do this
It's not like me
Why am I doing this?
Why am I clicking her contact name?
Why am I pretending to want to talk?
Ill give you an idea of how the chat went.
I'm not proud of this.
But again what can I do
I did it
I said it.
'How've you been?'
'I've missed you.'
'Her and Paul are a thing.'
'They're so adorable.'
'What you haven't heard from him?'
'That's too bad. I remember you really liked him.'
After our conversation I received silence from beloved Charlene.
I want to bring up another thing,
You knew I had a crush on someone
You'll hear of them later on
So why in the hell were you commenting and following him on everything?
He told me about some girl
who kept talking about me
Trying to get him to fuck her.
I knew it was you.
It had to have been.
As I said you were hateful.
Did I deserve it?
It didn't bother me
It opened my eyes to your ways.
I didn't like him that much, but I was testing you,
You have a bad habit of always pitying yourself
You'd pity me
Because my situation was different
At first it was nice
Someone understood how hard it was
Doing what I had to do
But you'd constantly nag at me to 'vent'
And I did
You fed on that shit
Always asking me to
I got sucked in it
I started pitying myself too
And that messes with your mindset.
You think you can't do things
Because you're 'tired'
Or you do so much so who cares I won't do it
It's hard to get out of that mindset
So don't get sucked into it.
I started keeping my thoughts,
And guess what?
I stopped pitying myself
I didn't need anyone's
I stopped giving a fuck about
It's not like my circumstances
Would have changed because you felt
Bad for me.
Let's talk about Charlene and Natalie
You judged then so fucking hard
Yeah I get it
They became little druggies
But you had to tell me
'The whole story'
It's fine let's skip that one
Let me think
Another thing you'd always do
Just flashed in my head
You'd always compare us.
Like if you and I
Were so alike
Darling baby we're not
So stop Yourself.
You wanted to think of the future
You said you wanted us to get a huge house
You sent me pictures of how we should do it
Don't get ahead of yourself.
I've always wanted to go to the Marines or Navy
I told you
'Oh really? I've always wanted to go as well!'
'Well then What branch?'
'I don't know yet.'
'Which do you?'
'Marines or Navy'
'We should go together.'
I told you to read 'after'
You were too lazy to
Okay then don't
But when you watched the film
We hadn't spoken in weeks
'Bitch I just seen after!! I cried it was so good'
First of all stop.
Some how you were always trying to talk to guys
That fancied me
It's fucking weird
I don't wanna sound like a bitch
But what the fuck
why are you so god damn obsessed with me?
You should be apologizing to me.
But you're too far gone
you don't realize
I'll apologize for all the people you've
But what will that change?
I didn't hurt them.
This is all you've done
Their pain is from your wrong doings
I hope you realize before it's too late
I wish you the best
Please try and change yourself
It's best for all
Every one say happy birthday to cayra
She's an angel.
They always are
'Her face was fucked up and my hands were bloody
We were in the playground, things we're getting muddy
The teacher broke us up after I broke her
And my one true love called me "a monster"
Mommy, why do I feel sad?
Should I give him away or feel this bad?
"No, no, no, don't you choke"
Daddy chimed in, "Go for the throat"
For the throat
For, for the throat'
Melanie Martinez ~ Class Fight