A Series Of Goodbyes

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Dos /// Let’s be Best Friends?

Let's start off by Saying

Happy Birthday Cayra

I'm trying to go in chronological order and

you're next

On your lovely birthday

No this isn't another love story

It's a continuation of my series of Goodbyes

So after I went to the priest and got the restraining order

I had to stay home for a bit

Until I was trust worthy, of course

So most of this took place in October and November

I stayed In

and began a few months of home schooling

And then came February

I was found to be 'better' and 'cured'

I started a new school.

At the time I thought I wouldn't have known anyone

Turns out I did

A lot of individuals

As a kid I moved schools often

So naturally I knew people everywhere

So you were one of the people I didn't know

I met you through Angelina and Dani

Keep in mind Angelina was the 'queen' or main one in the group so if she liked you

Everyone had to

She took a liking to me

Platonically.

So let me see I want to get this right

I didn't hang out with them first

No not at all

I first hung out with

Crystal, Brianna, Arleth, And a lot of other people

They were at the top of the chain.

But they were so boring

So fucking bland

One of the many people I knew was

this guy named Casey

He's next.

With you we're going to skip a couple weeks

And I'll go back when Casey is needed

And for the others I have in mind

Angelina sat next to me in our Math class

we had lunch after that period

She invited me to meet you all

From the start I could tell

You were envious and jealous

While being introduced you

looked me up and down

You told me later why

You told me it's because I had a nice body.

How would that make any sense?

You were jealous of me

Because I had a small trunk and wide hips

were the exact words you used

That's pretty weird if you ask me.

Of things that I couldn't help

You said you didn't like me

Because I just got to that school

And I knew a lot of people

You said I had a pretty face and big eyes

You told me this years after.

So what type of two faced shit was that?

You secretly dislike me because of my

Bodily form?

That's shallow as fuck.

Anyway besides the look you

Were decent

We all became friends

Started hanging out more often

Til I completely stopped hanging

With the bland people

And you guys were interesting

The whole group was interesting

But I liked you guys

I still do.

But you were always being hateful

You'd act sincere and you never were.

My mom turned out to be pregnant

With twins

And let's just say later on you'll grow to know

Why I had to get out of school

completely

And stay home schooled.

Everyone was pretty happy about the baby news

Months passed and the next year,

Eight grade

I moved schools and we lost touch for a while

Now we're going to get into it really

We're going to fast forward to these recent years

How can I tell this story with out spoiling the rest?

With me now being homeschooled I lost touch

With everyone

She sent me a message on snap chat

And we slowly started talking again

It was nice at first

We'd talk normally and then we started getting closer

You started getting comfortable

And you started showing your true colors

Not towards me

No, no but you'd talk about all of

'Your friends'

You'd tell me things that should've stayed

A secret

Between said parties

The whole group from the beginning of the story

Daniela, Angelina and the rest of them

the rest are irrelevant right at the moment

You all had problems and you fell apart

You told me things you had

Seen,

Done and learned

Or you'd 'vent' and tell me

Shit you've done.

I might sound hypocritical

But this is my Goodbye letter

I can say as I please.

Mama always said the truth hurts.

Like a mother fucker

I never judged or said anything

About any of the things you did.

But you told me many

Many stories of things you've done.

But you shamed the next girl?

Did she do things you did?

Let's think here for a minute

Did she willingly send videos of herself

Fingering herself?

No?

She just sent a bra pic.

But you slut shamed her to hell and back.

For something that we all probably have done.

You made me pity her

Not feel disgusted.

That pissed you off so you kept trying to tell me things

So I could feel the same way.

That's not justified in any way.

I have a question.

If you insisted you were a Virgin

How the hell could you shove three fingers inside yourself?

You made it a fucking point

You constantly said it.

Why would you need to justify it so often?

It's not like I cared

Or if you were so pure you'd get a

Congratulations

Is that what you wanted?

Praise?

Something I've learned Is

It won't matter if you're the most pure

Or Virgin you could say

Or the most active

And if you are it doesn't mean you're a harlot

Because I promise you, no one gives a FUCKING FUCK.

The day you said i was your best friend

I was shocked

This happens quite a lot for me

It's nothing bad

People get along with me quite well

I'm very understanding

So they tell me I mean so much to them

And that I'm their bestest friend

But I was unsure if you were the type of friend I'd

Consider my best one?

Let's talk about something else.

someone else

Charlene.

You'll hear more of Charlene in later chapters

But for now I want to speak of

what you did to her

You were talking to one of your newest boy toys

You thought he was the one.

You mentioned him.

I asked for his last name

I knew him.

Oh darling I knew him well.

I slipped up and said Charlene once had a thing

For him.

And you speedily texted me

Telling me to talk to her about it.

To rub it in her face

To make her hurt.

I thought about it

Should I?

In later chapters you'll hear of the vile things she'd done to me

Cayra knew

So she reminded me

I shouldn't do this

It's not like me

Why am I doing this?

Why am I clicking her contact name?

Why am I pretending to want to talk?

Ill give you an idea of how the chat went.

I'm not proud of this.

But again what can I do

I did it

I said it.

'Hey Char!'

'How've you been?'

'I've missed you.'

Any boys??

'Remember cayra??'

'Her and Paul are a thing.'

'They're so adorable.'

'What you haven't heard from him?'

'That's too bad. I remember you really liked him.'

After our conversation I received silence from beloved Charlene.

I want to bring up another thing,

You knew I had a crush on someone

You'll hear of them later on

Christian.

So why in the hell were you commenting and following him on everything?

He told me about some girl

who kept talking about me

Trying to get him to fuck her.

I knew it was you.

It had to have been.

As I said you were hateful.

Did I deserve it?

No?

It didn't bother me

It opened my eyes to your ways.

I didn't like him that much, but I was testing you,

You fucking

Failed.

You have a bad habit of always pitying yourself

You'd pity me

Because my situation was different

At first it was nice

Someone understood how hard it was

Doing what I had to do

But you'd constantly nag at me to 'vent'

I broke

And I did

You fed on that shit

Always asking me to

I got sucked in it

I'll admit

I started pitying myself too

And that messes with your mindset.

You think you can't do things

Because you're 'tired'

Or you do so much so who cares I won't do it

It's hard to get out of that mindset

So don't get sucked into it.

I started keeping my thoughts,

Pain

And exhaustion

To myself

And guess what?

It worked.

I stopped pitying myself

I didn't need anyone's

Pity.

I stopped giving a fuck about

Anyone's Opinions

It's not like my circumstances

Would have changed because you felt

Bad for me.

Let's talk about Charlene and Natalie

You judged then so fucking hard

Yeah I get it

They became little druggies

But you had to tell me

'The whole story'

It's fine let's skip that one

For now.

Let me think

Another thing you'd always do

Just flashed in my head

You'd always compare us.

Like if you and I

Were so alike

Darling baby we're not

So stop Yourself.

You wanted to think of the future

You said you wanted us to get a huge house

Together.

Yeah sure

You sent me pictures of how we should do it

Don't get ahead of yourself.

I've always wanted to go to the Marines or Navy

I told you

'Oh really? I've always wanted to go as well!'

'Well then What branch?'

'I don't know yet.'

'Which do you?'

'Marines or Navy'

'We should go together.'

No Bitch

I told you to read 'after'

You were too lazy to

Okay then don't

But when you watched the film

We hadn't spoken in weeks

'Bitch I just seen after!! I cried it was so good'

First of all stop.

Anyway

Some how you were always trying to talk to guys

That fancied me

It's fucking weird

I don't wanna sound like a bitch

But what the fuck

why are you so god damn obsessed with me?

Goodbye Cayra.

You should be apologizing to me.

But you're too far gone

you don't realize

You're toxic

I'll apologize for all the people you've

Manipulated

Hurt

And betrayed

But what will that change?

I didn't hurt them.

This is all you've done

Their pain is from your wrong doings

I hope you realize before it's too late

Goodbye

I wish you the best

Please try and change yourself

It's best for all

1855 words

Every one say happy birthday to cayra

She's an angel.

They always are

'Her face was fucked up and my hands were bloody

We were in the playground, things we're getting muddy

The teacher broke us up after I broke her

And my one true love called me "a monster"

Mommy, why do I feel sad?

Should I give him away or feel this bad?

"No, no, no, don't you choke"

Daddy chimed in, "Go for the throat"

For the throat

For, for the throat'

Melanie Martinez ~ Class Fight

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