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the courage to be vulnerable ➶ poetry

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The Sun That Never Fades

I wrote this poem about my experience on a spiritual journey with magic mushrooms. I was in nature at a park I now hold dearly to me, where I had epiphany's about the things I didn't know I was repressing in life.

The last line refers to Taylor Swift's song Daylight, so 100% credit to her. Her lyrics came to my mind as I was walking home after that life changing summer day, which is why it was included in the end.

Thank you for reading, in advance 🍄🧚

The Sun That Never Fades

With my heart on my sleeve,

I didn’t know how it would be

but it turned out to be everything

you could ever dream

I could think of all the things

I never thought i’d be and suddenly,

it would be there,

right in front of me

A dad and his son riding down on their bikes

laughing at each other and i thought that they might

actually look happy to see me—

i wondered what type of influence i had in their lives gently cruising by,

and they’d never know the influence they’d have on mine.

The sun sank low and the shadows were pretty,

hanging trees embraced me overhead;

i hummed to the drum of my own heartbeat

in a series of weeps down a never-ending line.

The sky never went dark,

it only grew brighter—

a kaleidoscope of sparkles;

the sun that never fades.

i held on to this idea a little tighter,

i became one with the trees

and forgot how to get myself out,

until i found my way and saw the light;

things will never be the same—

something that i would now never change.

my hands held by water

lighter than the fly buzzing next to me

i stared stone cold at the air—

saw a man who would i’d sit side by side with;

he whispered something to me…

fuzzy to my vision but rang a bell in my mind,

and i knew i had to say “god bless you” to the old man who drove the bus i had walked off of

on my journey home

up the back entrance on my way to my apartment

my feet grazed the steps and were nothing like what i had once carried.

i am now more lighter than ever before,

and yet somehow,

the utmost full.

Because when i saw the dad and his son on their bikes

something in me changed.

i realized i had been pondering something these last few months but it took the sun to never fade,

for me in

Brunette Regional Greenway

to see…

that i’ve wanted nothing more than to start a family.

And when i said “i don’t want kids”,

it was meant as a hard stop to putting them through hell.


when I weeped down the never-ending trail all the way down to the crosswalk in broad Daylight,

i was once now so sure…

that i didn’t want to think of anything else now that i’ve thought of her.

- Sm

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