Just got out of physical education.
I felt like I was dying so I was wheezing.
My ex, or as you know her, Sena, asked if I was okay.
This made me furious.
"You stopped caring about me a long time ago. You lost that privilege a months ago."
The entire locker room grew silent.
Sena just stood there.
The coach came out and asked me if I was okay.
She said I shouldn't yell.
I didn't try to yell.
But I would defend myself any day.
Of course, this is reality.
If I speak up, I'll get suspended or expelled.
So I said, "My stomach hurts."
In my little world,
I yelled at her.
"Well, no. I'm not.
Just because I can't do 146 high jumps in one minute, you're threatening to cancel the swimming party for the entire class.
But hey, at least I can find the area of a circle.
My grades are dropping and everyone is mad at me and calling me a failure.
But hey, at least I can run a mile in 15 minutes.
Every day, I pray to God he'll end my life and take me out of my misery.
But hey, at least I can write a thesis statement.
When I get home, I sharpen my wrist and cook my leg.
But hey, I can type 35 words in a minute with 99% accuracy.
I spend my entire day doing homework and late assignments, leaving no room for sleep.
But hey, my grades are finally a C or above.
I skip meals and take antidepressants but at least I know I can just "karaoke my thoughts" and I won't be depressed!"
I get sad and people try to fix me but what if I want to let out my anger and have a mental breakdown?
What if I need an outlet, and I'm a nice person, so that outlet is me?
I want to get better.
I just don't want people to treat me like I have a disease that'll go away quickly.
Let me let out my anger.