Him

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Him. (Part III)

-Poems written to/about h.i.m.-


‘Others’ ‘grabbed’ ‘across’ ‘the’ ‘even’ ‘looking’ ‘brim’

He grabbed me by the hand

Looking at me

With his soft green eyes

Reminding me of the place we first met

The brim of his hat

Shielding him from the sun

And protecting his innocence

Across the room

My parents watched

Others

Of the names, I was not aware

Gasped and ‘aw-ed’

He opened his mouth

And spoke those four words

My heart fluttered

With my breath under control and even

I spoke

I allowed the words to escape

“I will”

-seven random words, transformed into a story

Untitled

Do you enjoy watching me in pain or do you enjoy the attention my embarrassment bring you? I don’t know you anymore. I wanted to know you, your aspirations and likes, but you had other plans. So now I lie in my bed, my wrists aching, while you enjoy your life. My heart hurts. I’ve made one mistake after another, mostly revolving around my stupidity, the stupidity to open upon and share my feelings and writing. But I won’t make any more mistakes, for you can’t mess up if you aren’t alive to do so.

Unscathed vs. Scathed

Are you satisfied?

Are you happy?

Have you gotten what you desired?

You think only of yourself.

But what about me?

How do I feel?

So while you are showing them and laughing

at my feelings,

stop

and look at your wrists,

the skin unbroken and tan.

Then,

look at mine,

broken and red.

Then,

look back at yourself and what you have caused.

-it is your fault, but it is also mine

“No”

I just want to forget,

forget the events that have transpired these past few days;

My brain does not desire to hold onto them.

Its countenance grows sadder with each passing day.

I wish to be content but am unable to do so

with the immense weight of this guilt.

So please,

take it away.

-rejection



The Permanent Sabbatical

Why did you leave me?

Why did you leave?

The air doesn’t smell as it did

when you were alive.

Why did you leave me?

Food doesn’t taste as it did

when you weren’t deceased.

Why did you leave me?!

My ears ache desperately

for the sound of your voice.

My hands quiver for the feeling

of your skin.

My eyes cry without end,

until I have no tears left to shed,

for the sight of your brown eyes.

My mouth goes dry for the taste

of your lips,

leaving my tongue to search for another

to play with.

My nose runs dry for the smell

of your hair.

Why?

Why did you have to leave?!

Why did you have to get into that car and drive?

Why?

Blood and Bruises

The stain above your lips

remains,

after weeks since its first appearance.

The limp in your walk-

I caused the damage,

it was my doing,

as was the stain

and your inability to be touched without flinching.

I inflicted the memories and the PTSD

upon you.

I was the cause of your pain,

I admit it.

But I still love you.

I’m sorry.

It will never happen again.

-never stay in an abusive relationship. always reach out to family or even the police.

The Letter

If I send you a letter full of my feelings of love,

will you open yourself to me in return?

Will you declare your love or hate for me;

that I am or am not worthy of your love?

Will you answer me or is the letter not worth

my time and energy,

my heart and soul,

my tears and sighs?

Shall I introduce my pen to the paper

or shall I throw both away,

never to be seen or touched again?

Shall I send this to you?

I need answers but what of that?

What if your romantic feelings for me are nonexistent,

that would damage more of me than you know.

Paper,

meet Trash.


Untitled

bad grades

broken heart

but finds light

at the end of a dark tunnel

there he stands

tall

designed with brown hair

a sharp jaw

paired with soft eyes and open arms

feels warmth and happiness by his side

he give her life and shines light

on her dark life

-he turned out to be a douchebag

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