The Musings of a Dark Mind

All Rights Reserved ©

There are No Real Winners

There are No Real Winners.

I lost 4 loved ones in 6 weeks and needed to cry.
But in my moment of despair you reminded me that once you lost 3 loved ones in 6 months.
Like it was a competition.
So you know what?
You win.

I talked about the abuse I suffered at the hands of my uncle.
But as i took a breath to steady my racing heart of the memories you regaled that a man tried to touch you once and you never recovered.
Like it was a competition.
So you know what?
You win.

I told you about how for my own mental health reasons I had to leave my husband, and take my children, and I was homeless for 6 weeks with my children before I secured a house.
But that’s right, you reminded me for the 12th time that week your husband kicked you out for his own mental health reasons. You didn’t have to take your kids and you still had a roof over your head.
Like it was a competition.
So you know what?
You win.

I told you with tears in my eyes that I was missing my children. Terribly.
As I cried in your arms you reminded me that you don’t get to see yours much. But left out the part that you don’t even fight for them.
You say everything like it’s a competition.
So you know what?
You win.

I told you I’ve tried to commit suicide 3 times before I reached the age of 30.
But you brushed off my honesty with the point that have mental health issues too.
Just like a competition.
So you know what?
You win.

I told you the darkness of my depression is weighing heavy right now. I was close to breaking in that moment.
But you have other things on your mind. My issues were less important.
Because it was always a competition for you.
So you know what?
You win.

I told you that you were broken.
You told me you would work on it.
But you didn’t.

I told you that you were self medicating.
You said you would stop.
But you wouldn’t.

I told you your kids would stop fighting for you if you didn’t start fighting for them.
But you lost them.

I told you to fix yourself.
But you wouldn’t.

I told you that you would lose.
Just like a competition, you would lose everything. 1 by 1. Including me.

And you did.

You lost it all.

You lost me.

So I guess I won.

Continue Reading Next Chapter

About Us

Inkitt is the world’s first reader-powered publisher, providing a platform to discover hidden talents and turn them into globally successful authors. Write captivating stories, read enchanting novels, and we’ll publish the books our readers love most on our sister app, GALATEA and other formats.