There are layers of hurt and sadness, pain and grief.
There are wounds and scars and chunks missing.
I know they are there, because I felt every tear, every puncture, and every pin-prick.
You don’t have to tell me what I already know.
But what you don’t see are the stitches and bandages, the scar tissue and tape.
I’ll tell you this though; there are medicines for everything.
Love. Laughter. Joy. Friends. Family. Fun. God.
All of these things are holding my damaged heart together.
They can fix yours too.
Damaged is not the same as broken.
Broken is not the same as unfixable.
Unfixable is not the same as worthless.
Your heart is worth saving.
Put away the tape and glue, none of that can help you.
And before you even ask, no we are not in this together.
You don’t know me, I don’t know you.
I’m not going to magically open up to you and tell you every little thing I went through.
You shouldn’t either you know.
I’m just here because I sympathize your plight.
Having been there, done that.
No more, no less.
I don’t want to hear it, I already know what you’re going to say.
Heard it a million times, probably hear it a million more.
But not if I can help it.
I’m sick and tired of people trying to ‘fix’ me.
I don’t need their help.
Just because I went through something.
Doesn’t mean they have the right to know about it.
Just because i’m broken doesn’t mean I need someone to support me.
Just because I have a “dark” perception doesn’t mean my surroundings are detrimental.
You do you and I’ll do me.
Don’t give me your half-procured sympathy.
I didn’t want it then, don’t want it now, and I DEFINITELY don’t need it.
No one needs a bandaid on their arm when their lungs are full of blood.
If you want to help, just stay as far away as you can.
These things take time, but the clock will never really start if you’re always rewinding it.
I’m not perfect, not even close, and I don’t want to be.
Licking the salt out of my wounds.
Walking into the next disaster.
Falling down as soon as I was able to get up.
These are the things that matter.
These are the things that teach my heart what hurts, what feels happy.
These things are called Life.
No one can stop it, no one can “fix” it.
That is the reality.
The best I can do, the best anyone can do, is to roll with it.
I continue to pick my heart up every time someone throws it on the ground.
I continue to piece my heart back together every time someone shatters it.
I continue to lend out my heart every time someone needs it.
No matter how many times I get hurt, I remember a few things.
I remember that the places that require re-melding will be twice as strong.
I remember that each new break will be a new lesson learned.
I remember that I’ve survived worse, and have yet more to encounter.
My heart is as strong and durable as I let it be.
Granted there are wounds that will never heal.
And scars that will never fade.
Fore I feel them with every beat of my heart.
Yes it hurts and yes I wish things had gone differently.
But I don’t regret a single thing my heart went through.
It’s not about my ego or bragging rights or even me being better than you.
It’s about doing what I need to survive and lending a hand where it’s needed.
So if you want to try coming at me with those pitying eyes go ahead.
I’m just going to keep turning you away every single time.
I am as fine as fine can be.
There are others that need your help instead of me.
My heart is strong and resourceful, because it’s a warrior’s heart.
My heart is exactly that.