I'm Probably Fine

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1 Rufus Putnam Lane

If I try hard enough I can still smell

hot dogs and corn on the cob

I suppose the house always smelled like pot

But when you’re a kid the smell of barbecue is stronger

Running barefoot in the grass

Playing badminton or cornhole

Not a worry in the world

And if someone slipped on dog shit

It was just an excuse to play with the hose

I can still find the burnt spots on her deck

Where someone got too drunk and

Pointed fireworks the wrong way

Or maybe just dropped a cigarette

And started a small fire

There was a thrill in being

Hit with a spark


On those hot summer days

Chlorine and sunscreen

Were as close to heaven as a person could get

We’d scream and throw dead bees at each other

Hoping to get them in someone’s hair

Once, my uncle brought a girl

And she jumped in the pool naked

A fond childhood memory

Now dampened by the drug laced truth


We sat in the hot tub

Watching our skin cells float up

And pop with the bubbles

Trading Pokemon cards with a cousin

we’d never met before

Who ended up being the kid

Of a friend in rehab


Laying out in the sun

Eating chips and telling stories

While someone overdosed on pills

In the carpeted bathroom

Where I put on a floral tankini

Just hours before


Someone offered to pour vodka in my punch this year

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