I breath to keep myself from thinking,
I smile to keep myself from talking,
I care even though I'm winking,
I'm standing still even when I'm walking.
I'm aware everything feels broken,
I know it smiles at my agony,
It never ends it's speech after I've spoken,
It's who to blame for my eternal casualty.
Every time I speak nothing comes out,
I try to reach but I hold myself back,
I don't want to be alone in this world of doubt,
I want it's grasp to be the thing I lack.
My mind is filled with thoughts I cannot bare,
It takes control and there's nowhere for me to run,
I eventually drive myself off the edge I am aware,
But I can't do anything when it has won.
So many times have I stared at the sky in hopes to be free,
But it's always the little bit of love I have that makes me hold back,
It's powerful grasp causing me to not be able to see,
All I see when it has me is the color black.
This is the only place I can tell how I am,
For I know I can't explain this to the people around me,
I'm scared that they'll think it's a lie and think it's all a scam,
But eternally all I do is scream to be free.
Please set me free from this thing in my head,
It never let's me go away,
It hurts with everything that it has said,
I just want to be set free one day.
All I wish is to be happy once more,
Is that so much to ask?
My body only feels the pain that is at war,
This numbness making it easy to put on a mask.
I feel like a hollow tree caught on fire,
The emptiness and pain swallowing me whole,
I know you must think that I am a liar,
That's okay since I know the truth in the remnants of my soul.
What is left is a hollow shell,
I'll never in my life be the same,
I wish I could be free from this living hell,
But it's grip has caused me too much pain.