Was I Wrong?

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Summary

A short self reflection monologue after turning 30 and being in a different season from friends.

Genre:
Poetry
Author:
Jessica Bates
Status:
Complete
Chapters:
1
Rating:
n/a
Age Rating:
13+

Was I Wrong?

No one tells you what it feels like when you’re the last in the friend group to start having children. Or even the last one to get married. You’ve had these dreams and expectations of everyone vacationing together or raising your kids to be best friends. You’ve quietly allowed time to pass because you’ve seen other marriages struggle and so you dedicate yourself to becoming the best you can be to minimize the problems that would come up. You know you don’t want a loveless marriage like your parents, so it makes sense to stay single than feel trapped in suffering or disappointment.

But then 30 comes along. Did you make the right decision? You were in such a hurry to be the mature, responsible one, that in your self righteousness denied the opportunity to feel loved even at your worst. You could have grown together and helped each other become the best versions of yourself instead of wrapping yourself in aloofness and morality as a barrier. Now you have developed all of these new insecurities that could have been avoided had you just let your guard down and risk getting hurt by an imperfect person when you also would cause damage to them.

What’s next? Wait till all the divorces start happening so you can catch someone who had more life experiences to shape them? Or open yourself up to be a cougar because no one your age really wanted you anyway? How do you show yourself grace when you you intentionally set unrealistic standards in the first place? How do you tell someone you might meet that you’ve never even had a first kiss because no one deserved it yet, when hardly anyone has the best first kiss they could have had. In a generation of hooking up, the Kardashians as an example of beauty, and the poise of Megan Markle, how dare you think it’s ok if someone settles for you?

What’s the first step in making this new decade different from the last? Why is safety more important than reckless passion? Will I ever experience such a thing? Or is it too late for anyone to work with me in shedding this persona? I just wanted to be the best spouse I could be. That the marriage would be healthier and happier than what I’ve seen my whole life.

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Further Recommendations

anabanana0329: This book is great if u are interested in Greek mythology.This book is a good book to read.The chapters are very short.But they talk about side gods that aren't the main ones.Its really cool.And I love it very much.

Natasha: Love the story and the characters. The author's writing style was very engaging. The story line was really good that I seriously couldn't put it down and I just love it. It was very well written

Ieynrsya Irwan: i love this book, every single chapters. i would totally recommend this to my friends. this book is brilliant, the plot *chef kiss*

CS_Klein: This piece is simply brilliant. Couldn't stop reading. Thanks for sharing such a beautiful story!

Çhrį§: I my personal opinion this was the best poetry book that I've read, everything in it is amazing, the way that the author was able to make me picture what was going on in my head and be able to see exactly what the author was talking about. To add on, even though the book is about sad situations.....

L.J Galez: Beautiful trauma, this is when all the what if's will remain what if's and eventually after reading some lines you'll realize the answers that was left unsaid to your questions are just there, finding a soul is easy, but finding a perfect match to bond with your soul is a lot harder when you c...

Family808 : Everybody else may think this dosen't make any but they can't read the beautiful words in this poem

laceyE56: It was a great book!!

Deleted User: I love reading poetry and this one is a very nice story. I really liked it and enjoyed reading it.

More Recommendations

David: Just gave you 4 stars for the Grammar since you only have C2, weak.Other than that, loved the "Wanna be a psychopath" approach and writing.Keep up the good work and keep stealing Infreno's ideas :)

Laraine Smith: In addition to being humorous, this story is visual! This is also a beautiful story. Keep up the great work! :)

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