chrysanthemums and other forgotten creatures

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broken

one year ago yesterday

was the day my heart broke

not in pieces, just a crack

a spark that ignited the fire

the day I was told I'd lose you

to the nine hundred miles of land between us.

on April seventh of last year

my heart broke a little more

when you told me we wouldn't survive the distance

I cried, and threw my silver necklace on the floor

the one you'd given me for my birthday the day before

with the note that said you loved me.

on July first you came over

I'd hardly seen you lately and I couldn't decide whether I still knew you

so I gave you back your sweatshirt

and a book I'd filled with our memories

and I walked you to the door

and I cried

for the nearly four years we'd been together

and the two minutes it took to end it

for the fight that you didn't give when I said this was the last time

I'd see you

my heart was breaking.

on October eighth

we'd have had our anniversary

four years since the day I asked you

and I'd have felt warm and light with the love I had for you

but instead I felt empty, hollow

like the part of you in my heart had left me

piece by piece.

it is 1 am

on March twenty-forth

and all I can think of is how

you smiled at me when we kissed

how you were always humming a song

how you stopped answering my texts

how you didn't really know me

how you stopped loving me a long time ago

and I didn't notice

and my heart is broken.

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