My Middle School Crush
He left you.
Why do you keep texting him?
Why do you insist on trying to fix what isn’t even there?
You have so many people who care about you.
So why do you go to the one person who either doesn’t know you exist.
Or just doesn’t care about you?
I ask myself these questions everyday;
And I tell myself...
Because you love him.
But that gives you no excuse to give your heart to them and take the risk of them shattering it without hesitation.
At first, I tried pushing them away.
Thinking, it would stop the pain.
But it only made things worse.
So I texted him back;
Hoping for a response.
But one never came.
At first, I was angry at myself
I told myself it was all my fault
I pushed him away after he hurt me without knowing.
And when I tried to fix things,
He never came back.
I finally made peace with myself
I told myself “If he really cared about me and wanted things to workout between us, he would have come back; or just stayed when I pushed him away. I was just trying to defend myself. Trying to make this pain I felt go away. But it didn’t; I was so tired of feeling this way; I just wanted some peace. And now, I have forgiven myself.”
“It’s not ok I know, but me telling you it is, doesn’t mean that right now it feels like it is or it is. But one day, one day it will be, and that is what makes it ok.” -Frivvi
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