The Broken Brilliance of Maaz Bin Ahmed

All Rights Reserved ©

Poems

The book you are reading now

Aren't just pages filled with ink.

This is my soul you are holding.

The emotions I felt over the years.

Carved in poetry,

Polished with ecstasy

~~~~~~

He arrived at the place, it was his first date. His hands were shivering. So was his soul. He gathered enough courage to approach where she was sitting.

The eyes collided, sparks ignited, the cheeks glowed, smiles glittered and that's how it all began.

~~~~~~

"Why did you pick me when there were plenty of other pretty girls?" She texted him one day.

"I don't know." He replied.

"Oh." Her text came.

"You really want to know?" He texted back.

"Of course." She said with little anger.

"Amongst all the pretty girls, it was your smile that pierced through my soul."

He replied.

~~~~~~

She: You and I are total opposites, how in the world would it work?

He: Why wouldn't it?

She: I am moody, I am impatient, I have a high temperament and the list goes on.

He: I will manage.

She: Just how many things will you manage?

He: Everything.

~~~~~~

"What am I to you?" She texted.

"Mmm, girlfriend." He replied.

"But everyone has one of those." She texted with a bit sadness.

"My future wife. I am sure no one has one of those." He texted back.

"Yes, they don't." She texted, while blushing.

~~~~~~

"What's so special about her? You can find way better girls than her."

My friend commented.

"Sure I can, but they will lack the flair she has." I answered.

~~~~~~

"How are you so sure we can be together? We just met."

She asked.

"Actually, I am not.

But I am willing to find out."

He answered.

"Why are you wasting your time?

I am not that special." She said.

"Because, it's worth it,

You are worth it." He said.

~~~~~~

"I have never been up this late." He texted at 3 a.m.

"Really? Then why are you staying up, go to sleep, we will talk later." She replied.

"I can, but that shows how special you are to me." He replied back.

~~~~~~

He touched my soul,

‎when everybody was touching bodies.

~~~~~~

Messy hair

Nerdy glasses

Absentminded

Stupidity

High temper

Shabby love confessions

He was in love with my imperfections

~~~~~~

Love is more than just

Kissing and hugging.

It's understanding

And sacrificing

~~~~~~

An eyeliner

And a lipstick.

That's all she needed

To drive him crazy.

~~~~~~

"What's this?" She asked.

"Your birthday gift." She answered.

"Wow, rings!" She said with excitement.

"Yup, you like them a lot." He replied with a smile.

"Now that you have brought rings, why don't you put it on my finger." She said with love in her eyes.

"Perfect." He replied while bursting in joy.

~~~~~~

I gave you everything,

Care, attention, love, respect.

Defended you in front of others.

But what did you do?

How did you repay me?

By making the fool out of me

In front of the same people

I defended you.

~~~~~~

For all of the love I have poured on you.

All of the attention I have given to you.

All of the pampering I have done

For you.

You... still... broke my heart.

~~~~~~

I loved you, and I proved it time to time.

But you made it toxic for me

And because you didn't love me back,

That love slowly faded away.

~~~~~~

I wanted to end this with a smile,

Like sitting on a bench in a park

Or having a walk while none of us spoke.

Just looking at each other,

For one final time,

But you decided to end this,

Just like that.

~~~~~~

She was different from others.

When I say different,

I don't mean she was special or something.

She was just different.

Her hair wasn't properly styled,

Her way of talking wasn't smooth,

She wasn't the most intelligent one,

She was careless, reckless I should say,

She was silly, a bit of innocence too,

But she was full of life, full of flair.

When she smiled, she made sure

It was the brightest one

And I kinda fell for that.

I fell in love, with all those imperfections.

~~~~~~

You can't make people stay. No matter how much you care for them, how much you love them, how many times you alter your plans just to be available for them, they will leave when they want too.

~~~~~~

One day, some day, my name will pop up in your mind. And the flashback will run in front of your eyes. The moments we cherished, the laughs we had, the fights we fought, the words we spoke but it will all fade away instantly. Then you will realize what you have lost.

~~~~~~

"I will never leave you." He remembered an old conversation of her.

"How? What if we got separated?"

She anxiously replied.

"I have bewitched your soul,

That isn't something you can undo."

He calmly replied.

~~~~~~

You will surely find bunch of other people,

Who will love you, praise you,

Spend time with you,

Have conversations with you.

They might even give you

Expensive presents

Or try to win you over with some stunts.

But, they will not love you like I loved you.

~~~~~~

Some actions can't be reverted.

Some mistakes can't be corrected.

You have to face the consequences.

You can't just say that I am human.

You can't just hide behind the flesh

And bones.

You have to take the responsibility of what you did to me.

~~~~~~

"Who are you staring?"

My friend questioned.

"An old friend." I answered.

"Oh, then go meet her."

He said joyfully.

"No." I replied firmly.

"Why?" He asked me surprisingly.

"We used to be friends, now we are just stranger with memories."

I replied quietly.

~~~~~~

He always hid his sadness behind a wild smile. Although the storm inside was killing him, but he was a stubborn one. He wanted to be the controller of him, not his emotions. He fought his sadness day in and day out and in the end, he tamed his emotions and became the master of poker face.

~~~~~~

Everyone has a fantasy story hidden deep down in their hearts, which they want to happen someday.

~~~~~~

Pain is a catalyst of change.

A very mysterious one actually.

And like every other catalyst,

It depends on the matter which it is being reacted to.

‎And when people undergo pain,

They change.

Some become cold.

Some become soft.

Some become dead from the inside.

And those who can't handle it,

Just quit life.

But the best ones are who oppose it,

Who don't let it win,

Who don't let it consume them,

And once they conquered the pain,

They evolved into something very beautiful.

~~~~~~

In the world of heartbreak, betrayal, flirt, there was a guy waiting for love to happen.

~~~~~~

Pictures: burnt.

Texts: deleted.

Voice notes: removed.

Social media: blocked.

Mind: Error 143,

Permanent memory.

~~~~~~

Ever heard of LEGO?

To some people you are just like those.

They will keep you until they need you,

Once they decided to make something else, they will replace you

With another piece.

~~~~~~

You will understand,

Eventually or time will.

~~~~~~

I entrusted you my soul,

Which you tormented

And I allowed you to do that

Because after all,

You were my choice.

Good or bad, I own it.

~~~~~~

It's an art you know,

To be able to put all that pain into words.

~~~~~~

Your one mistake,

One disappointment,

One blunder,

Will exactly tell you,

Where do you stand in their life.

~~~~~~

In between all the chaos,

He just wanted to be appreciated.

~~~~~~

Everyone falls in love with perfection because it's easy.

The hardest thing is to fall for those little imperfections.

It takes courage to do that.

~~~~~~

"Why did you talk to everyone with such kindness?" People asked.

"Because they deserve it, just like I did." I answered.

~~~~~~

I wish, I could show you,

The real me.

Which has been dead for ages now.

~~~~~~

You asked me, why I show my emotions with intensity.

Well, my dear,

I prefer to burn away,

Rather than fade away.

~~~~~~

I will forever remain,

As your most beautiful remorse.

~~~~~~

You have a beautiful heart, you always give to people more than they deserve. No matter how they treat you. You never let them down, you made sure you were always there for them. Whether they called you or not, asked you or not. You always heard their uncalled cry for help. You sacrificed your need just for the sake of their smile. But see what that brought you to. Here you are lying, crying, calling for help and what did they do? They just left you there to die.

~~~~~~

I am just tired,

Tired of what's going around.

It's like I am living two lives at once.

One is for the society,

Where I meet, greet, speak and smile.

And then there's the other one inside me, who just hates, disgusts,

Is sad and lonely.

I am just tired of keeping them apart,

And no sleep can take away that tiredness.

~~~~~~

It's been a few years since you left, but I haven't returned to normal. In fact, my life is now divided in the good and the bad. The good days are where you don't exist. I wake up happy, have breakfast, go to work, smile entire day, play video games, hang out with friends and family and finally go to sleep peacefully. It's like you never even happened to me.

And then there are bad days where you exist. I wake up tired, I barely get out of the bed, I don't eat anything, every step I take to get along with the world pains me, every wrong you did to me just plays like a camera roll in front of me, I get back home in misery, hardly eat, lie in bed with agony, ignore calls and texts, curse you until I am out of words, go to sleep with red and wet eyes.

~~~~~~

People think it's fascinating to be a writer, but little did they know.

To be able to see and feel all the little details that most of the people miss.

How miserable and beautiful it is.

~~~~~~

It's been quite a while,

You living under my flesh and bones.

Occupying me, as if I am yours.

But now, I am not.

At least not anymore.

~~~~~~

Fighting my mind, to remove every lovely detail of your beautiful face,

Was the most painful thing for me.

~~~~~~

I can't take revenge for what you did to me in reality,

Because I live by a moral code.

But Darling!

I am a writer,

I can slither into your skin,

Rip you to shreds,

Crush your insides,

Render you to tears,

Kill you in million ways in my poetries.

~~~~~~

"He was truly something else.

I haven't met anyone like him

Nor will I ever meet.

That's why I was not surprised,

When I heard what he had achieved in his life.

It was like, he was in a league of his own,

A class of his own.

And ironically, fate did give him to me.

He was right here, in my arms.

And I was so stupid,

That I let him slip through my fingers,

And I know, I will never be so fortunate ever again."

~~~~~~

I too have a story,

A story about a girl.

Where I liked her crinkly hair,

Found her way of talking cute,

Ignored her flaws,

Stayed up late just to talk,

Trusted her despite knowing the truth,

Gone many times out of my way just to please her and got betrayed eventually.

You might think I was a fool.

No, I was in love with her.

~~~~~~

I have always lived with limited resources.

Which made me the crafter,

Of creating maestros out of mere puff

Of dusts.

When we met, it wasn't any different.

You had nothing special yet,

I created that magical kingdom,

Out of nothing,

Where we ruled for some time.

So, if you look back someday,

I want to tell you this.

It wasn't you darling!

It was all me.

~~~~~~

Ever wonder, how it feels to have a heart

Which literally sees and feels everything?

Like when someone said, 'Hi' with little joy,

Like when you don't see the right amount of excitement in someone's eyes when they meet you.

Or when you say I miss you and the reply isn't passionate enough.

Or when you just went to the moon just to surprise someone and that someone just casually replies you.

It feels terrible, freaking terrible.

~~~~~~

Some feelings, can't turn into poetry.

You just have to live with those.

~~~~~~

You, were like a sea wave

Who just wanted to get to the shore.

And I, was like a boat,

Who wanted to sail over the waves

To get to the deep ocean.

That's why, the "You & I",

Never became "WE".

~~~~~~

Maybe, I am just a hopeless romantic.

~~~~~~

I woke up today, by the sound of rain.

I barely dragged myself,

Towards the window.

And looked outside.

Everything was looking so lively.

All of the dirt was washed away

By the rain.

And at that precise moment my heart whispered, "I wish I had a rain like that,

Which can wash away all the dirt off my soul."

~~~~~~

"I have met so many people,

But never a person like you."

"Why are you so nice?

How can anyone be this nice?"

"A foreigner's heart has fallen for me."

"I know you love me a lot, and no one will ever be able to love me like this."

"As many times I have said I love you, I think I really mean it."

"I would be so unlucky if you didn't become mine."

So many words. So little emotions.

~~~~~~

You parted our ways because I wasn't good enough,

Then why do you look so hollow in the pictures you post on snapchat?

It feels as if you are incomplete.

~~~~~~

It's getting hard,

Keeping myself together from breaking.

I am slowly losing my spark.

The fire inside me is slowly getting burnout.

I don't know when it will end.

Sadness, grievance, darkness,

Which resides inside me,

They are getting stronger, day by day.

I don't know if there's something,

That can end all of that.

~~~~~~

As she stepped towards the house,

She couldn't believe her eyes.

The entrance door once which was huge,

Now broken from one side.

The garden which was lavish,

Now a desert.

She walked towards the house which once had a beautiful entrance.

She opened the main door which once had artistic glass, now cracked.

She walked into the main hall,

The paintings they both hanged were still there, now stained.

The imported carpet they ordered online for main hall, now partially ripped.

Having seen this horrible view

She rushed to the bedroom which was once theirs.

She opened the door with heavy heart.

The king size bed was still there,

But damaged.

The portraits of them together above the bed and on walls were there,

But her face was scratched.

The big standing mirror was still there,

But the mirror was shattered.

As she moved towards the broken pieces, the memories were still embedded on them.

She took a long deep breath and exits.

Before leaving the place again, she gazed for the final time at the house.

And wondered how it was before?

She left once and decided to leave again but only this time for good.

She was gone from his life years ago, and now she has lost the place in his heart too.

And with every step she took,

The remaining foundation of the house shook.

The wandering spirit of her,

Never bothered him again.

~~~~~~

It's kind of exhausting,

Living the same afflictions again and again.

~~~~~~

What if I was a kid?

Who was popular in school?

Picking on and bullying the fools.

Would that be cool?

What if I was a boy?

Who was a prick in college?

Ordering the mama's boys like it was my heritage.

What if I was a guy?

Who was a playboy in university?

Dancing, partying and flirting with zero responsibility.

Or what if I was a person?

Who found the perfect love in the world?

Not having any betrayals, and the lies I have been told,

What if...

~~~~~~

Have you ever considered?

How people you see smiling,

Suddenly decides to end their life?

Even the perfectly healthy ones,

Like what made them go that far?

It's the pain. Not the physical pain,

That... can be healed with medications.

But you can't heal the soul with medicines.

And believe me,

Having a wounded soul,

Is far worse than having a wounded hand or a leg.

They get tired of the continuous

Battle of thoughts inside their head.

They get tired of their mind replaying

The bad memories over and over again.

They get tired of thinking about the things that could happen without any possible reason.

They get tired of picking themselves up disappointments after disappointments.

They get tired of the same cycle,

Get up,

Hope,

Loss

And repeat.

When they don't have any fight left in the soul,

The demons start to take over.

And the resistance gets weak slowly.

Till the only way to end this eternal suffering is killing themselves.

~~~~~~

You meet somebody,

Know them a little.

Get attached to them.

Things start to progress.

Meet ups getting planned.

Long conversations are taking place.

Everything goes smooth for a moment.

Then, it all comes down crumbling.

You try to keep everything together,

But you have never felt more helpless before.

Now you start to break in pieces

And no one is there to rescue.

You get into oblivion

And just get lost in it.

Then you know the truth,

You have got fake love.

~~~~~~

An Anonymous Story

Chapter i: The Seeding

There was a boy who fell in love with a girl, her smile was sparkling and hair had curls.

Her face had a glow,

Like sky putting up a star show.

Her voice was sweet as honey,

And presence was bright and sunny.

Their souls collided, when their eyes met and the universe stopped just like that.

It all happened for a moment,

But that's all it needed.

For the boy's heart to have,

Love deeply seeded.

Chapter ii: Then Blossoming

The boy decided to tell the girl how he feels but didn't know how to reach her with room full of dweebs.

One day he gathered courage, and sent friend request,

He could feel his heartbeat racing in his chest.

Request accepted, the notification came,

Now he can move towards his next aim.

They began to have conversations,

To him those were mini celebrations.

One day the boy proposed her on call,

You are the one with whom I want to do it all.

The girl didn't know what to say, as she was in shock,

Because they have just met and he wants to have a moonwalk.

The girl told him she is not the right one,

The number of qualities she possesses are none.

The boy explained, what he has seen,

To me you are like a beautiful dream.

When I first saw you, I was attracted to you. Why it happened? Sorry I don't have any clue.

There's something that separates you from others,

Only with you my insulators became conductors.

She said, "We are total opposites, how will it ever work?"

He said, "Darling, opposites attract each other, haven't you met a nerd?"

She said, "I am not even special, you should look for other girls."

He said, "You are a shell who has the prettiest pearl."

She said, "You don't know me, I can be a total mess"

He said, "To have you in my life, I will feel blessed."

The boy was persistent, he wasn't giving up,

She said, "You aren't going to stop, are you?" And he said, "Yup."

She said, "Fine, let's see where this goes, but don't blame me if it blows."

He said, "I'm going to make it work, with my heart and soul, he wows."

They got into a relationship, and the journey began,

They tried making memories as much as they can.

As their love was in its prime,

They blossomed with passage of time.

Chapter iii: The crumbling

Things were going smoothly, then suddenly they got a hiccup,

Little did they know the challenges they are about to face up.

The boy had faith in love and in her,

They're going to make it out of this together.

But the boy got this one horribly wrong,

His bond wasn't just that strong.

He tried to assure her, things will be fine, but her actions didn't show any encouraging signs.

The boy was heartbroken as he loved her with his life,

Every day he felt like his throat is placed on a knife.

He even begged for the sake of love,

Putting his ego aside and emotions above.

But despite his devotion, she left him in a rush,

His soul crumbledand all that was left was his carcass.The book you are reading now

Aren't just pages filled with ink.

This is my soul you are holding.

The emotions I felt over the years.

Carved in poetry,

Polished with ecstasy

~~~~~~

He arrived at the place, it was his first date. His hands were shivering. So was his soul. He gathered enough courage to approach where she was sitting.

The eyes collided, sparks ignited, the cheeks glowed, smiles glittered and that's how it all began.

~~~~~~

"Why did you pick me when there were plenty of other pretty girls?" She texted him one day.

"I don't know." He replied.

"Oh." Her text came.

"You really want to know?" He texted back.

"Of course." She said with little anger.

"Amongst all the pretty girls, it was your smile that pierced through my soul."

He replied.

~~~~~~

She: You and I are total opposites, how in the world would it work?

He: Why wouldn't it?

She: I am moody, I am impatient, I have a high temperament and the list goes on.

He: I will manage.

She: Just how many things will you manage?

He: Everything.

~~~~~~

"What am I to you?" She texted.

"Mmm, girlfriend." He replied.

"But everyone has one of those." She texted with a bit sadness.

"My future wife. I am sure no one has one of those." He texted back.

"Yes, they don't." She texted, while blushing.

~~~~~~

"What's so special about her? You can find way better girls than her."

My friend commented.

"Sure I can, but they will lack the flair she has." I answered.

~~~~~~

"How are you so sure we can be together? We just met."

She asked.

"Actually, I am not.

But I am willing to find out."

He answered.

"Why are you wasting your time?

I am not that special." She said.

"Because, it's worth it,

You are worth it." He said.

~~~~~~

"I have never been up this late." He texted at 3 a.m.

"Really? Then why are you staying up, go to sleep, we will talk later." She replied.

"I can, but that shows how special you are to me." He replied back.

~~~~~~

He touched my soul,

‎when everybody was touching bodies.

~~~~~~

Messy hair

Nerdy glasses

Absentminded

Stupidity

High temper

Shabby love confessions

He was in love with my imperfections

~~~~~~

Love is more than just

Kissing and hugging.

It's understanding

And sacrificing

~~~~~~

An eyeliner

And a lipstick.

That's all she needed

To drive him crazy.

~~~~~~

"What's this?" She asked.

"Your birthday gift." She answered.

"Wow, rings!" She said with excitement.

"Yup, you like them a lot." He replied with a smile.

"Now that you have brought rings, why don't you put it on my finger." She said with love in her eyes.

"Perfect." He replied while bursting in joy.

~~~~~~

I gave you everything,

Care, attention, love, respect.

Defended you in front of others.

But what did you do?

How did you repay me?

By making the fool out of me

In front of the same people

I defended you.

~~~~~~

For all of the love I have poured on you.

All of the attention I have given to you.

All of the pampering I have done

For you.

You... still... broke my heart.

~~~~~~

I loved you, and I proved it time to time.

But you made it toxic for me

And because you didn't love me back,

That love slowly faded away.

~~~~~~

I wanted to end this with a smile,

Like sitting on a bench in a park

Or having a walk while none of us spoke.

Just looking at each other,

For one final time,

But you decided to end this,

Just like that.

~~~~~~

She was different from others.

When I say different,

I don't mean she was special or something.

She was just different.

Her hair wasn't properly styled,

Her way of talking wasn't smooth,

She wasn't the most intelligent one,

She was careless, reckless I should say,

She was silly, a bit of innocence too,

But she was full of life, full of flair.

When she smiled, she made sure

It was the brightest one

And I kinda fell for that.

I fell in love, with all those imperfections.

~~~~~~

You can't make people stay. No matter how much you care for them, how much you love them, how many times you alter your plans just to be available for them, they will leave when they want too.

~~~~~~

One day, some day, my name will pop up in your mind. And the flashback will run in front of your eyes. The moments we cherished, the laughs we had, the fights we fought, the words we spoke but it will all fade away instantly. Then you will realize what you have lost.

~~~~~~

"I will never leave you." He remembered an old conversation of her.

"How? What if we got separated?"

She anxiously replied.

"I have bewitched your soul,

That isn't something you can undo."

He calmly replied.

~~~~~~

You will surely find bunch of other people,

Who will love you, praise you,

Spend time with you,

Have conversations with you.

They might even give you

Expensive presents

Or try to win you over with some stunts.

But, they will not love you like I loved you.

~~~~~~

Some actions can't be reverted.

Some mistakes can't be corrected.

You have to face the consequences.

You can't just say that I am human.

You can't just hide behind the flesh

And bones.

You have to take the responsibility of what you did to me.

~~~~~~

"Who are you staring?"

My friend questioned.

"An old friend." I answered.

"Oh, then go meet her."

He said joyfully.

"No." I replied firmly.

"Why?" He asked me surprisingly.

"We used to be friends, now we are just stranger with memories."

I replied quietly.

~~~~~~

He always hid his sadness behind a wild smile. Although the storm inside was killing him, but he was a stubborn one. He wanted to be the controller of him, not his emotions. He fought his sadness day in and day out and in the end, he tamed his emotions and became the master of poker face.

~~~~~~

Everyone has a fantasy story hidden deep down in their hearts, which they want to happen someday.

~~~~~~

Pain is a catalyst of change.

A very mysterious one actually.

And like every other catalyst,

It depends on the matter which it is being reacted to.

‎And when people undergo pain,

They change.

Some become cold.

Some become soft.

Some become dead from the inside.

And those who can't handle it,

Just quit life.

But the best ones are who oppose it,

Who don't let it win,

Who don't let it consume them,

And once they conquered the pain,

They evolved into something very beautiful.

~~~~~~

In the world of heartbreak, betrayal, flirt, there was a guy waiting for love to happen.

~~~~~~

Pictures: burnt.

Texts: deleted.

Voice notes: removed.

Social media: blocked.

Mind: Error 143,

Permanent memory.

~~~~~~

Ever heard of LEGO?

To some people you are just like those.

They will keep you until they need you,

Once they decided to make something else, they will replace you

With another piece.

~~~~~~

You will understand,

Eventually or time will.

~~~~~~

I entrusted you my soul,

Which you tormented

And I allowed you to do that

Because after all,

You were my choice.

Good or bad, I own it.

~~~~~~

It's an art you know,

To be able to put all that pain into words.

~~~~~~

Your one mistake,

One disappointment,

One blunder,

Will exactly tell you,

Where do you stand in their life.

~~~~~~

In between all the chaos,

He just wanted to be appreciated.

~~~~~~

Everyone falls in love with perfection because it's easy.

The hardest thing is to fall for those little imperfections.

It takes courage to do that.

~~~~~~

"Why did you talk to everyone with such kindness?" People asked.

"Because they deserve it, just like I did." I answered.

~~~~~~

I wish, I could show you,

The real me.

Which has been dead for ages now.

~~~~~~

You asked me, why I show my emotions with intensity.

Well, my dear,

I prefer to burn away,

Rather than fade away.

~~~~~~

I will forever remain,

As your most beautiful remorse.

~~~~~~

You have a beautiful heart, you always give to people more than they deserve. No matter how they treat you. You never let them down, you made sure you were always there for them. Whether they called you or not, asked you or not. You always heard their uncalled cry for help. You sacrificed your need just for the sake of their smile. But see what that brought you to. Here you are lying, crying, calling for help and what did they do? They just left you there to die.

~~~~~~

I am just tired,

Tired of what's going around.

It's like I am living two lives at once.

One is for the society,

Where I meet, greet, speak and smile.

And then there's the other one inside me, who just hates, disgusts,

Is sad and lonely.

I am just tired of keeping them apart,

And no sleep can take away that tiredness.

~~~~~~

It's been a few years since you left, but I haven't returned to normal. In fact, my life is now divided in the good and the bad. The good days are where you don't exist. I wake up happy, have breakfast, go to work, smile entire day, play video games, hang out with friends and family and finally go to sleep peacefully. It's like you never even happened to me.

And then there are bad days where you exist. I wake up tired, I barely get out of the bed, I don't eat anything, every step I take to get along with the world pains me, every wrong you did to me just plays like a camera roll in front of me, I get back home in misery, hardly eat, lie in bed with agony, ignore calls and texts, curse you until I am out of words, go to sleep with red and wet eyes.

~~~~~~

People think it's fascinating to be a writer, but little did they know.

To be able to see and feel all the little details that most of the people miss.

How miserable and beautiful it is.

~~~~~~

It's been quite a while,

You living under my flesh and bones.

Occupying me, as if I am yours.

But now, I am not.

At least not anymore.

~~~~~~

Fighting my mind, to remove every lovely detail of your beautiful face,

Was the most painful thing for me.

~~~~~~

I can't take revenge for what you did to me in reality,

Because I live by a moral code.

But Darling!

I am a writer,

I can slither into your skin,

Rip you to shreds,

Crush your insides,

Render you to tears,

Kill you in million ways in my poetries.

~~~~~~

"He was truly something else.

I haven't met anyone like him

Nor will I ever meet.

That's why I was not surprised,

When I heard what he had achieved in his life.

It was like, he was in a league of his own,

A class of his own.

And ironically, fate did give him to me.

He was right here, in my arms.

And I was so stupid,

That I let him slip through my fingers,

And I know, I will never be so fortunate ever again."

~~~~~~

I too have a story,

A story about a girl.

Where I liked her crinkly hair,

Found her way of talking cute,

Ignored her flaws,

Stayed up late just to talk,

Trusted her despite knowing the truth,

Gone many times out of my way just to please her and got betrayed eventually.

You might think I was a fool.

No, I was in love with her.

~~~~~~

I have always lived with limited resources.

Which made me the crafter,

Of creating maestros out of mere puff

Of dusts.

When we met, it wasn't any different.

You had nothing special yet,

I created that magical kingdom,

Out of nothing,

Where we ruled for some time.

So, if you look back someday,

I want to tell you this.

It wasn't you darling!

It was all me.

~~~~~~

Ever wonder, how it feels to have a heart

Which literally sees and feels everything?

Like when someone said, 'Hi' with little joy,

Like when you don't see the right amount of excitement in someone's eyes when they meet you.

Or when you say I miss you and the reply isn't passionate enough.

Or when you just went to the moon just to surprise someone and that someone just casually replies you.

It feels terrible, freaking terrible.

~~~~~~

Some feelings, can't turn into poetry.

You just have to live with those.

~~~~~~

You, were like a sea wave

Who just wanted to get to the shore.

And I, was like a boat,

Who wanted to sail over the waves

To get to the deep ocean.

That's why, the "You & I",

Never became "WE".

~~~~~~

Maybe, I am just a hopeless romantic.

~~~~~~

I woke up today, by the sound of rain.

I barely dragged myself,

Towards the window.

And looked outside.

Everything was looking so lively.

All of the dirt was washed away

By the rain.

And at that precise moment my heart whispered, "I wish I had a rain like that,

Which can wash away all the dirt off my soul."

~~~~~~

"I have met so many people,

But never a person like you."

"Why are you so nice?

How can anyone be this nice?"

"A foreigner's heart has fallen for me."

"I know you love me a lot, and no one will ever be able to love me like this."

"As many times I have said I love you, I think I really mean it."

"I would be so unlucky if you didn't become mine."

So many words. So little emotions.

~~~~~~

You parted our ways because I wasn't good enough,

Then why do you look so hollow in the pictures you post on snapchat?

It feels as if you are incomplete.

~~~~~~

It's getting hard,

Keeping myself together from breaking.

I am slowly losing my spark.

The fire inside me is slowly getting burnout.

I don't know when it will end.

Sadness, grievance, darkness,

Which resides inside me,

They are getting stronger, day by day.

I don't know if there's something,

That can end all of that.

~~~~~~

As she stepped towards the house,

She couldn't believe her eyes.

The entrance door once which was huge,

Now broken from one side.

The garden which was lavish,

Now a desert.

She walked towards the house which once had a beautiful entrance.

She opened the main door which once had artistic glass, now cracked.

She walked into the main hall,

The paintings they both hanged were still there, now stained.

The imported carpet they ordered online for main hall, now partially ripped.

Having seen this horrible view

She rushed to the bedroom which was once theirs.

She opened the door with heavy heart.

The king size bed was still there,

But damaged.

The portraits of them together above the bed and on walls were there,

But her face was scratched.

The big standing mirror was still there,

But the mirror was shattered.

As she moved towards the broken pieces, the memories were still embedded on them.

She took a long deep breath and exits.

Before leaving the place again, she gazed for the final time at the house.

And wondered how it was before?

She left once and decided to leave again but only this time for good.

She was gone from his life years ago, and now she has lost the place in his heart too.

And with every step she took,

The remaining foundation of the house shook.

The wandering spirit of her,

Never bothered him again.

~~~~~~

It's kind of exhausting,

Living the same afflictions again and again.

~~~~~~

What if I was a kid?

Who was popular in school?

Picking on and bullying the fools.

Would that be cool?

What if I was a boy?

Who was a prick in college?

Ordering the mama's boys like it was my heritage.

What if I was a guy?

Who was a playboy in university?

Dancing, partying and flirting with zero responsibility.

Or what if I was a person?

Who found the perfect love in the world?

Not having any betrayals, and the lies I have been told,

What if...

~~~~~~

Have you ever considered?

How people you see smiling,

Suddenly decides to end their life?

Even the perfectly healthy ones,

Like what made them go that far?

It's the pain. Not the physical pain,

That... can be healed with medications.

But you can't heal the soul with medicines.

And believe me,

Having a wounded soul,

Is far worse than having a wounded hand or a leg.

They get tired of the continuous

Battle of thoughts inside their head.

They get tired of their mind replaying

The bad memories over and over again.

They get tired of thinking about the things that could happen without any possible reason.

They get tired of picking themselves up disappointments after disappointments.

They get tired of the same cycle,

Get up,

Hope,

Loss

And repeat.

When they don't have any fight left in the soul,

The demons start to take over.

And the resistance gets weak slowly.

Till the only way to end this eternal suffering is killing themselves.

~~~~~~

You meet somebody,

Know them a little.

Get attached to them.

Things start to progress.

Meet ups getting planned.

Long conversations are taking place.

Everything goes smooth for a moment.

Then, it all comes down crumbling.

You try to keep everything together,

But you have never felt more helpless before.

Now you start to break in pieces

And no one is there to rescue.

You get into oblivion

And just get lost in it.

Then you know the truth,

You have got fake love.

~~~~~~

An Anonymous Story

Chapter i: The Seeding

There was a boy who fell in love with a girl, her smile was sparkling and hair had curls.

Her face had a glow,

Like sky putting up a star show.

Her voice was sweet as honey,

And presence was bright and sunny.

Their souls collided, when their eyes met and the universe stopped just like that.

It all happened for a moment,

But that's all it needed.

For the boy's heart to have,

Love deeply seeded.

Chapter ii: Then Blossoming

The boy decided to tell the girl how he feels but didn't know how to reach her with room full of dweebs.

One day he gathered courage, and sent friend request,

He could feel his heartbeat racing in his chest.

Request accepted, the notification came,

Now he can move towards his next aim.

They began to have conversations,

To him those were mini celebrations.

One day the boy proposed her on call,

You are the one with whom I want to do it all.

The girl didn't know what to say, as she was in shock,

Because they have just met and he wants to have a moonwalk.

The girl told him she is not the right one,

The number of qualities she possesses are none.

The boy explained, what he has seen,

To me you are like a beautiful dream.

When I first saw you, I was attracted to you. Why it happened? Sorry I don't have any clue.

There's something that separates you from others,

Only with you my insulators became conductors.

She said, "We are total opposites, how will it ever work?"

He said, "Darling, opposites attract each other, haven't you met a nerd?"

She said, "I am not even special, you should look for other girls."

He said, "You are a shell who has the prettiest pearl."

She said, "You don't know me, I can be a total mess"

He said, "To have you in my life, I will feel blessed."

The boy was persistent, he wasn't giving up,

She said, "You aren't going to stop, are you?" And he said, "Yup."

She said, "Fine, let's see where this goes, but don't blame me if it blows."

He said, "I'm going to make it work, with my heart and soul, he wows."

They got into a relationship, and the journey began,

They tried making memories as much as they can.

As their love was in its prime,

They blossomed with passage of time.

Chapter iii: The crumbling

Things were going smoothly, then suddenly they got a hiccup,

Little did they know the challenges they are about to face up.

The boy had faith in love and in her,

They're going to make it out of this together.

But the boy got this one horribly wrong,

His bond wasn't just that strong.

He tried to assure her, things will be fine, but her actions didn't show any encouraging signs.

The boy was heartbroken as he loved her with his life,

Every day he felt like his throat is placed on a knife.

He even begged for the sake of love,

Putting his ego aside and emotions above.

But despite his devotion, she left him in a rush,

His soul crumbledand all that was left was his carcass.

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