I guess it started out as a yearning to be understood and transformed into the willingness to be seen.
That was always the most challenging concept for me to grasp, that people are allowed to feel like they don’t belong; and that’s okay. There are plenty of people that feel and perceive this life along a similar edge that I do; I’m not alone in this. I’m happy that I was able to find a path to etch my story into, and these are some of the lessons I’ve taken to heart along the way.
Life is not linear.
Everything can’t be decided over just a few minutes, it takes a lifetime of these moments to amount to something influential. Everything I say won’t be some form of higher scripture, most of the time it will be filler in a long stream of noise. Frequency is the most important aspect to be aware of when telling a story, or in other words the setting and the people have precedence over the message.
Being aware of this, the timing and the place, toke a while for me to grasp. That is why I chose to remain silent for so many dinner conversations growing up.
I felt like my voice carried no weight – what a childish thing to think – but I did, I really did. What do I have to say that would alter the course of this lifeline?
Clearly, I was struggling with myself, and accepting my own voice for what it was.
It’s not like it’s changed, but the feeling has slowly faded. Just as growing should do to a boy, break him down, and a man will pull his way through the seams.