SHE MOVES ON FIRST
I have prayed for her grieving
Thinking she might be mourning me
Till one day I did a search on FB and was
surprised to see.
At first glance a couples’ picture under a tree
I was floored by the intimacy.
They looked in love, I was pierced deeply
In the core of my belly.
I guess I have a revisionist view of history.
That’s when I discovered I was praying for her misery
Not her recovery, the big thing for me to do is to wish her to be happy.
Instead I was keeping her in my own memory, deep, dark, sullen, a prisoner of our unholy ending to our matrimony.
It’s so phony, so not sweet, so not sincere, so selfish of me.
When I give my prayer to God it’s for her total recovery, even if it had to come at the expense of me.
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