After The Snap

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I have prayed for her grieving

Thinking she might be mourning me

Till one day I did a search on FB and was

surprised to see.

At first glance a couples’ picture under a tree

I was floored by the intimacy.

They looked in love, I was pierced deeply

In the core of my belly.

I guess I have a revisionist view of history.

That’s when I discovered I was praying for her misery

Not her recovery, the big thing for me to do is to wish her to be happy.

Instead I was keeping her in my own memory, deep, dark, sullen, a prisoner of our unholy ending to our matrimony.

It’s so phony, so not sweet, so not sincere, so selfish of me.

When I give my prayer to God it’s for her total recovery, even if it had to come at the expense of me.

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