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In Your Neighborhood

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The Neighborhood

My neighborhood is full of interesting fellows

Someone is painting their house a bright yellow

There’s always someone whose house is all green

And an old man who lives down the street that is mean.


A burst of music I never like

Wakes me up in the middle of the night

And don’t forget my next door neighbor whose strange

With the same shirt that he just won’t change.


And don’t forget the hot one who lives down the street

Working out in her garage, hoping she’ll meet

Someone, anyone, just not her spouse,

Making sure to wear a see-through blouse.


Oh yes my neighborhood is full of interesting fellows

Just don’t eat the surprise welcome of jello

That my neighbor across the street just made

If her kitchen was a restaurant, she’d get a failing grade.


So I put ‘No Soliciting’ on my front door

It should have read, ’No neighbors, especially that whore”

But still it seems, Mormons can’t read

Unless it’s the word of God, indeed!


Seriously though, my neighbors are nuts

Except for that one guy with the cute butt.

Did you see how his muscles fit in that tee?

Every time he passes I’m full of glee!


Can I have one weekend without a neighbor’s party?

In the middle of the night someone’s yelling for Marty.

And in the early morn someone’s washing their car

There’s a stain in the street that’s a little bizarre.


That stupid dog there always barks at me!

And the weird guy invited me over for brie.

Who the hell put beer bottles in my trash can?

At least you could do was share with me, man!


My neighbors are something else, you see

Except for that one they call Mr. Lee

The neighborhood gossip says he’s a kung fu king

Can trace his roots from the dynasty of Ming.


And what say you, of my neighborhood?

You’d live here too if you only could

And peak out your window very discrete

Whenever the hot guy walks down the street.

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