The Thoughts of a Perfectly Imperfect Teenager

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Author's Note

Dear Readers,

First of all, I would like to thank all of you for your incredible support. I can not believe how many people have read this, and all of your comments are truly flattering.

People come to me for advice. All the time. And I was talking with somebody here on Wattpad, and they were telling me their problems. They asked me, “Exactly. But what’s the point? What’s the point? What should we do? Just wait and let it simmer? My hope died a long time ago I have just accepted that life sucks and you just gotta deal with it.”

And I will copy and paste exactly what I said:

“There is a point. The point is . . .”

“For me, and this may or may not be for you, but I write. I write, I play music, and I meditate. I came onto Wattpad with the sole purpose in mind of reading a celebrity’s autobiography. I never was going to write, or anything like that. Up until a few months ago, I had never written a poem. And I look at what I’ve done, and I can’t believe my eyes.

I suffered with an inability to express myself and my feelings, and whenever I tried talking to someone, they pushed it off, like it didn’t matter. The amount of pressure and stress my mum held me under caused my mental health to seriously suffer, and there was no one to talk to, nowhere to write anything down. And then I did something weird. I emailed myself. Each night, I would take 30 minutes, I would write everything out in an email and email it to myself. It was sort of like a diary but not in a physical form, where my mum could find it and go through it. And then, I came on here, and everyone would always post about their lives, oh such and such happened, oh my life is so awful, oh this and that. Ugh running out of characters one second.”

“I was shocked at how much people had and how much they would take for granted, and I would give anything to have what they have, and here they are complaining! It didn’t seem right, so I wrote and wrote, in my book called, “The Thoughts of a Perfectly Imperfect Teenager.” I didn’t write everything. I didn’t write half of it. I wrote next to nothing the things I’m going through, yet I knew people needed it. We are often blinded by our problems, and we don’t realize how well off we actually are. I published it and thought who in the world would want to read it, but my friends told me I needed to write and put it out there for the world. So I did, and it helped me immensely. People need to know that things are going to be okay, they may not be okay in the moment, but they will be, no matter how awful it may seem.

Oh, and I meditate. At night time. In a dark room. With a pillow on my head. And I talk to myself. And then I’ll cry and cry. And then I’ll write. And cry some more, until I sleep.

We don’t realize how much we have until we see how little other people have. I wrote my works with the intentions of whoever saw it to see it and for it to help them.

The amount of people I have helped is incredible, and there’s something in me that can rest assured that if nothing turns out right for me, everything in my world crashes down, I don’t reach any of my dreams, then maybe, just maybe, I will have helped someone else through my writings.”

That is what I said. I’m only 14 years old. But I’ve been through a hell of a lot more than you’d think. I’m one person in this world. This world full of billions. This world that won’t remember any of us in hundreds of years from now. So if I can’t reach my dreams, maybe I can say I helped others reach theirs. And then a part of me will forever remain satisfied. People come to me all the time, and they tell me about my works, and I think I must have done something right.

And I know what you’re thinking. How can someone like me have so much hope? But I have nothing and everything to lose. I’m a small girl with big dreams. Too big dreams, some people say. Well, at least, I have dreams. I do. And everyone around you is going through so much more than you could ever guess, we are all fighting our own battles. Wars. We are all struggling with life, and we may think no one in the whole world would understand, well, there are people who are ten times worse off than you are. We are fighting so hard. We have wounds. They may heal, but they leave behind scars. Scars that tell the stories of your strength and passion. We don’t know what each other is going through, and no one will ever know what it’s like to be me. And no one will ever know what it’s like to be you. So my best advice for you would be to simply be kind. Because we’re all going to make it through this together. Life may suck at the moment, but you were given life, so you already have something to be grateful for.

We’re like stars. Stars shine at night. And sometimes, for us as well, it’s our moments of darkness that lets our brilliance shine through.

I still cry myself to sleep at nights. I still look at myself and my life and wonder where I’ve gone wrong. I still think about all the questions unanswered and all the answers unknown. I still wish for things to get better. I still look at people and wish they were grateful for what they had. I still stay up at nights meditating with a pillow on my head. But at least now, I can look up at night, and wish, and hope.

You are strong,
and you are brave.
You will make it
Through this safe.

You are a brilliant
Shining star,
So never let anyone
Tear you apart.

I have faith in you,
No matter how bad it may seem.
Have faith in yourself,
And you too will reach your dreams.

Stay awesome and treat people with kindness. =)

Yours truly,
-Emmalina

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