Making Me

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enthusiasm

~

drive us to heights

we are destine to fall from

mania fueling your railing

against doors eternally shut

nails become mutilated

eyes become inkblots

straining to exhaustion

catch a thread of light

escaping out a keyhole

you will never unlock

~

empty praise

a distraction

lull of complacency

“you’ve done enough”

hands fly to your ears

to relax now is to concede

how can you believe

yourself anything less than inept

when the lone judge presiding

refuses you even a glance?

~

what you lack

what you cling to with broken fingers

what should have given you the most

what denied you the most

what you gave all your hopes to

what gave all its bounty so someone else

what bruised your skin blue

what healed you back up green

~

the door slams again

crushing outstretched hands

panic, hysteria, depression, rejection,

fixation

run this cycle till you get it right

the wooden frame snaps apart

splinters for your fists

the fine lines on your palms know the difference

between passion and complex

~

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