Back to square one, where everyone starts their day.
I woke up before the sun rises, looking for my phone.
Hoping there would be a text from you.
Then I remembered we have nothing to do with each other.
Those texts don’t exist, just like our fictional relationship.
Felt surreal, felt like a ride on the polar express, a fairytale that solely exists for dreamers.
I take a walk down the net of profiles, swiping left and right, vying for anyone’s attention. Stumble across a photo that I fondly remember, the one I took for you.
It threw me into a spiral, went back to my old ways, the way I abuse myself physically and emotionally. You promised that you weren’t that anymore and blatantly lied to me. Then I went blank, a fresh slate like the birth of a new star.
Like who are you? What are you anymore? The aspiring scholar, the smart one, the teacher’s pet, and the perfect woman. Were those even true?
I looked into the mirror and realised the dire state I left myself in, couldn’t recognise myself with all those scars that you left me to heal by myself. The monolith you left behind, daunts on my very soul, the essence of my core aches my very fragile heart.
The moment of realisation that you aren’t to keep your word, and to be a better person, to be the great person you destined to be. I let go, my faith, my love, my hope and my respect for you, all out the window.
The healing began, and I back to square one.
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