This is my last letter to you...
Over the past year I have been a halestorm of emotions.
When I first read your letters I was sad and in so much pain.
You broke my heart.
But let's start from the beginning.
I met you on a rainy day.
You smiled. My world changed.
We went in a date and saw Aquaman because you hated Romcoms.
I gave you sunflowers for our one month anniversary because I knew you hated roses.
We dated for 18 months (a year and a half).
And then 'The incident' happened.
I was in my room sleeping when I felt lips on mine.
I immediately thought it was you so I kissed back.
I didn't open my eyes but I sat up still kissing 'you'.
When I did open my eyes I saw you standing in the doorway with tears flying down your beautiful face.
It turns out is wasn't you I was kissing...
It was the school bitch Jesse Jenson.
I immediately detached myself from her but it was too late...
You were gone.
And my heart broke for the first time.
I immediately tried to find you and after searching the whole night I called your dad and told him you ran.
He called the police and they found you the next morning in the woods. Basically hiperthermic.
I felt crushed.
This was all my fault.
I stayed in the hospital waiting room and asked the doctor if I could see you but he said you didn't want that.
So I left...
I shouldn't have. I should have fought to see you. To explain that I didn't kiss Jesse. I thought it was you.
After that you never spoke to me again.
I tried calling.
I talked to your parents.
I came to your house.
But I know I could have tried harder.
And for that I'm sorry baby.
For five months I heard nothing from you.
I was so broken. I barely went to school.
I terrorized Jesse though. Every chance I got I would torment her. To ruin her life like she ruined ours.
I stole her phone and released her nudes to the whole student body... Then I sent them to Mr. Linkston, our Math teacher.
He immediately went to the school board and Jesse was expelled. Effective immediately.
I was glad she was out of my life.
But I was sad you were.
Then after five months of not hearing from you I received 24 letters and a box one morning.
I was confused until I saw your address on the front with my name written in your beautiful cursive handwriting.
I went up to my room and closed the door before sitting on my bed and reading your letters.
Each one made me more and more guilty.
I couldn't believe you felt this way and never contacted me.
I got to your last letter.
Letter number 24.
Where you finally told me the truth.
As soon as I read that letter I felt like I died.
Everything was a lie.
Except it wasn't.
Because one year ago today you died, baby.
You died of stage 4, terminal lung cancer.
At the end of your letter you asked me to live a happy, long life...
And in this year I battled with it. Reading your letters over and over again wishing I could go back in time and stop Jesse from kissing me.
You told me you regret nothing. You don't regret me.
And neither do I baby. I don't regret you. I could never.
The time we had was short but I will cherish it with everything I have for the rest of my life.
I'll keep on living. I'll try to move on.
But I'll never forget.
You're the love of my life Emily Daniels.
Thank you for forgiving me.
Thank you for not regretting our time together.
Thank you for honoring me with those 18 months we spent together.
Thank you for loving me baby.
I know you'll never read these letters but I'm going to bury them by you.
I've dug a hole close to your gravestone ,where I'm sitting now, so that I can lay my letters to rest at their rightful place. By you.
I come here everyday.
Rain or shine.
Hale or snow.
Tsunami or hurricane.
I come here.
I hope you're watching over me from above my angel.
I love you so much baby.
You're my sunshine,
You're my everything.
Nobody will ever be able to fill the hole you left in my heart.
But I forgive you. How could I not?
That hole just reminds me of what was there to fill it in the first place...
Love of my life.
I love you Emily Daniels. Baby. Forever and always.
Even as death does us apart.
Goodbye my lover...
Goodbye my friend...
You have been the one...
- Jason Grey ♡
- The boy who will miss you forever.