The deep bone breaking cold was seeping into my skin. The air around me sharp to the point and cuts through me like sorrow on its best day. Fog evaded my vision as my soft pants showed just how cold it was outside. The fresh scent of pine was all around me and it brought comfort in knowing that it was still there for me. Though the day was cold and less desirable, it’s been the high light of my day.
The clothes I wore clung to me like snake skin. They were tight and unmoving. They were for my protection but also my hindrance. I was protected from the cold but I was freezing. I could hear them sway in the wind, could feel them move as I move. They grinded against each other bothered my ears, as if I was listening to sand paper. I wanted silence.
My feet crunched and scrapped against the dirt road as I dragged my feet a crossed it. The rocks screamed in terror as I descended my foot on them as I walked. The yellowish earth caved under my feet giving way to my weight. I left foot-size impressions on the narrow dirt road as if the world’s burden was weighing down on my shoulders. Things aren’t always what they seem and today, I felt that weight.
There was a chain around me ensuing I couldn’t escape. It was taunt and thick. There was no breaking it. The chain was wrapped so tightly around me I could barely breathe. It was weighing me down and I worry that unless I break free soon, the weight would pull me down with it.
The sky above me was dark from the thick gray clouds hovering overhead. The sunlight was all but gone, but not entirely. There were broken, uneven spots from the clouds that the sunlight was breaking through. It was a battle. The clouds were fighting for complete darkness while the sun was fighting vigorously to show everyone on earth its light.
The clouds were winning at the moment, the sun would lose this battle today, but it wouldn’t lose the war. The clouds are just envious of the sun. The sun was strong and would fight another day. I was envious of the sun. It was powerful and relentless. I felt weak and powerless. Maybe one day I would be just as great as something like the sun.
The woods around me were dead but still very alive. It was kind of how I felt. I was alive. My heart was beating, steadily and slowly, though it was bleeding from emotion. I was numb too though. I couldn’t feel the emotion that my heart was bleeding from. I knew that the emotion was there, but I couldn’t feel it. I was afraid to. I was afraid to let it in.
The rough bark on the trees were gray but it was okay. Soon winter would be over and the trees will flourish like the 4th of July. They would be beautiful and everyone would love them. I wish I had the time to see them, but it wasn’t meant to be. Beauty would take time and time is something I don’t have. I was green hot with jealousy at them but at the same time was envious. I wish I could be them. No worries, no fear, just be.
Though bare and ugly I did not think them so. Their leaves were on the ground and muddied. They were all types of colors, to dark dirty brown to a deep ruby fire red. Those were my favorite. Even in death they became one of the prettiest leaves one could find. They were all around me, enchanting, hypnotizing, to all those who would appreciate them. I was one of the few and it was the most blessing sight I have seen today.
As I stood all around this gorgeous beauty I stood down a path. This path was long and wary. The road seemed to be endless and would forever go on. It was a calling. Something I didn’t understand but in the same breath I did. My journey would be long and exhausting but I would reach the end, someday.