The Girl Who Smiles
Walking down the sidewalk.
Heart skipping a beat on every step.
Fingers tightening around the backpack strap.
Face looking dramatized as if I were a convict in a courtroom.
Looking up at the high school.
My freshman year has finally arrived.
Sweat drips down my neck as I first open the doors to judgment.
My mind screams at me to play it cool.
Feeling eyes all over me.
But when I look around everyone is in their own conversation.
Taking a breath, I walk to my first class.
Keeping a solid face I walk to a desk.
The mind plays tricks on us.
Eyes followed me in my subconscious.
When in reality nobody cares who you are.
You fear you are being watched.
They don't even look at you when you enter the classroom.
When you come to that realization.
You feel a weight lift off your shoulders.
The only time someone would ever notice you...
Is if your one of them.
If you dress like them.
If you act like them.
If you have no personality whatsoever...
You are accepted.
When you felt hopeless to be anything but yourself.
A student walks in...
Her hair is a mess.
Glasses falling down her nose.
Books in all her hands.
She gives you a glance, and smiles.
I stare astonished.
She ignores all the looks she gets.
Her smile stays persistently on her face.
How I long to have that confidence.
How I long to have that self esteem.
From here on out.
I idolized that girl.
The girl with the messy hair.
The girl with glasses falling off her nose.
The girl with that large smile on her face.
Saying she is not part of your system.
She is an independent goddess.
And no one will take that away from the girl that always smiles.
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