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III. Fantasies and Dreams

:Poems that tell of sweet dreams,
nightmares, confusion,
lost hopes and dreams,
and possibilities

Escapism

Dried tears are attached to your face
You heave a sigh of relief
Slowly breathing in-and-out
…..to calm yourself

Closing your eyes
…..you whisper sweet nothings
Then opening your eyes
….. you stare blankly into your ceiling

“Oh no”
“Why can’t I do this”
“Breathe”
“You’ve got it”

Wiping your tears
You blink and blink and blink
Yet tears continue to flow
Closing your eyes
…..you slowly breathe in-and-out

“Breathe”
“Take it slow”
“Breathe”
“Woooo….”

“I just wish …”
“I wish I could….”
“Ugh”
“I just wish I could go somewhere else.”
“ I wish I could run to someone who understood me”

Dried tears are stuck to your cheeks
You heave a sigh of desperation
Breathing in-and-out
…...you close your eyes

Your arm reaches for your phone
….opening your eyes
You unlock your phone
…..turning to Spotify
You turn your volume up
….and play aloud
A list of calming tunes

Closing your eyes
….you began whispering
The sweet nothings
….. of the lyrics
The tunes carry you into
…..a dreamland of sweet affairs,
…..a dreamland of chaos,
and a dreamland of idleness
…………………………………………………………………………………

…..A dreamland of sweet affairs
…. you fall into a candy land of relationships
…...that have no end
A dreamland of sweet affairs
…. this candy land is filled with gummy bears,
….this candy land has red and black licorice
…. this candy land is filled with jelly beans
A dreamland of sweet affairs
…. you explore a candy land of toxic, abusive, destructive, and wrong relationships
…. you explore a candy land of deceitfulness, being blindsided, secrecy, and mistreatment
A dreamland of sweet affairs
……. may be sugary and sweet for your tooth
…. but it’s quite far from it
…. this dreamland hides your desperation for wanting to fit in and your desperation to be loved
….It may be a dreamland of sweet affairs but a nightmare if you look at it with open eyes….
……………………...……………………………………………………………………

….. A dreamland of chaos
…..you fall down towards the gravel
…..that’s cold, dirty, and moist
A dreamland of chaos
…..you walk along a road that’s not quite done
….. sunken holes, cracked pavement, and faded lines …...with each step an imperfection is placed along the path you walk
A dreamland of chaos
….. your hair is whirled around in the air
….as you walk past a tornado of failed hopes and dreams
…… your skin has cuts from the shards of self harm and disappointment
…… your body inhales the toxins of flames from a burning building of desires
A dreamland of chaos
…..you walk along this path alone,
…. where you’re shown the leftovers of what
….. imperfections, failures, disappointment, and desires
….lie waste, lifeless with no hope of ever returning
A dreamland of chaos
….this dreamland shows your flaws
…. this land shows you what’s wrong in your life
…..Yet this dreamland doesn’t show you what perfections you do have, it doesn’t show what you’ve done right in your life
….It’s a nightmare with your eyes closed yet mentally open, but at least it’s a mental reality check for someone like yourself…..
……………………………………………………………………………………………

…… A dreamland of idleness
….you fall onto a cushion
….. that numbs you into nothing
A dreamland of idleness
….. you’re subdued into a nonchalant demeanor
…..you’re thrown into an emotionless state
….. that that allows you to have just a little bit of happiness
A dreamland of idleness
….you fall into a support of diversion
…. you fall into a support of hysteria
…. that takes away your attention from what problems you’re addressing and assessing
A dreamland of idleness
….your laziness is a driving force
….that keeps you alive,
...sadly…
….It’s a dreamland that gives you satisfaction in an emotionless state while distracting you from your absolute pure hatred towards life….
……………………………………………………………………………………………

“Aaaaahhhhhhhh”
Your screams are heard
“Nnnnnooooo”
Your sobs are heard
“Ppplllleeeaaassseee”
Your body turns

Opening your eyes
Your body shoots upward
As you try to regain control

“Breathe”
You inhale
You exhale

“Breathe”
You inhale
You exhale

“Breathe”
You inhale
You exhale

Slowly blinking, you look around your room
Finding nothing comforting
…..you lie back down
Running your hands through your hair
You try to calm your breathing
…..you heave a sigh of defeat

“I wish”
“I wish”
“I wish”

“I wish there was a way to purge this world of everything that’s fucked up”
“I wish I had someone but everyone that comes into my life leaves”
“I wish I could end my pain and suffering”

“I wish”
“I just wish”

Yet there was no escape for you
…you had to live in this fucked up world

You just wanted to escape
You wanted to enter a euphoria forever

“I wish I could escape”
“I just wish I could enter a euphoria”



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