Train of Thought Derailment
I step into the shower and turn the water on.
Next thing I know, I'm singing a sad song.
A drop of water falls off my eyelash, and I realize it's a tear.
The sad tune that was stuck in my mind seconds ago, I can no longer hear.
I close my eyes as the water rolls off my back.
The train of thought inside my head quickly flies off track.
I am awakened from my daydream to the pounding of cement under my feet.
Pouring rain coincides with my footsteps to an overrated beat.
A mixture of tears of confusion and rainy droplets chill me, as they both caress my skin.
I forget why it is I'm running, and give up when I feel the pain of needles and pins.
I turn around and head back down the dirt road home.
I have gotten used to this feeling of being so alone.
Too easily I seem to get lost in myself.
Push away the thoughts of how I once felt.
Darkness takes over the sky and everything goes black.
I've fallen hard this time and breath becomes something I lack.
I feel a sudden calm wash over me.
My body stops moving and I feel so free.
I no longer have any feeling, my nerves have gone numb.
I don't care if anyone tries to save my life, I don't even believe that anyone will come.
And so I lay in this state, unconscious but not unaware.
I remember the tragedies that I thought I couldn't bear.
I tried to escape but there's nowhere to run.
I spend my days restlessly chasing the sun.
Hoping I'll find the bliss I've been searching for;
But for now I'll lay motionless, on this cold and damp shower floor.