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The Life in Rhymes of an Angsty Teenager

By Lindsey Olver All Rights Reserved ©

Poetry / Other

Nothing to Talk About

You want an apology? Well, where do I start?

I'll apologize first on behalf of my heart.
I'm sorry for listening to mine and tearing yours apart.
Not telling you my true feelings as soon as they began wasn't smart.
I'm sorry for causing your whole world to crash and burn.
I'm sorry for believing that I needed a turn.
I'm sorry for being selfish; that I couldn't continue to share.
I'm sorry for stripping your life away from you, leaving you vulnerable and bare.
I'm sorry for the cavity I left in between you and me.
Like continents separating across the sea.

Next, I'd like to apologize on behalf of my head.
It turns out my heart's a little smarter, and that my brain is the more stupid one instead.
My heart's the one who made me suck it up and finally apologize.
While my head preferred to be stubborn with idiotic pride.
I'm sorry for taking away your only reason to love.
And for taking our friendship for granted, thinking that it wasn't enough.
I'm sorry for not admitting that I was in the wrong sooner.
I'm sorry if I made you seem like a rumour.
I'm sorry for stabbing you in the back.
And twisting the knife constantly, like it was a planned attack.
But it was never my intention to hurt you, I promise it's true.
When there was struggle, I wanted nothing but to help you two.
I never meant to pick a side.
And I'm sorry for leaving you alone at the worst possible time.
I was going to keep my feelings to myself.
Keep it a secret to my head and heart, and tell no one else.
I tried to give every piece of advice I had to make your love last.
And now I wish there was an undo button for the past.
When it first started out, I thought it would never end.
I always said it'd last forever, and I'd remain to both of you a loyal best friend.
There were troubles before I even interfered.
But once I did, I didn't help like I wanted to; more problems appeared.
I shouldn't have ever forced my way in the middle.
And now my life seems like an unsolvable riddle.
Because truth be told, the missing puzzle piece is you.
I need my old best friend again; start our friendship over and renew.
But I understand if you don't need me in your own complicated life's riddle.
And if you don't want to be friends anymore, I can't make you; but at least I'd like to be civil.
Even that is probably too much to ask.
But I thought I'd give it a try because I care to make our friendship last.
Actually, I used to consider you to be the sister I never had.
And now I don't have you at all, which makes me angry at myself and sad.
My feelings don't come close in comparison to yours.
They're probably filled with hatred, sadness, and spite, I'm sure.
And although you have every right to feel those things towards me, I know deep down you have a kind heart.
I'm hoping that you can find some bit of forgiveness inside you so that we can restart.

Lastly, I would like to say sorry on behalf of every part of me.
I hope that's strong enough for you to accept my apology.

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Chapters
98. Nothing to Talk About
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